ETON JUBILEE CURIOSITIES.

[Illustration:  FLOREAT ETONA!

Mr. Punch (to King Henry’s “holy shade").  “CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR MAJESTY, ON THE 400TH ANNIVERSARY!”]

    [If the following have been omitted from the Catalogue, any
    visitor to Eton is entitled to call on the Provost, Fellows,
    and Head Master, and ask for an explanation.]

1. “I’m Monarch of all I Survey.” Original copy of ballad sung by the First Eton Ten-oar.

2.  Old Sketch (landscape) of the Very Cross Roads near Surley Hall.  Also portrait of SURLY HALL himself.

3. “A Night on the Brocas.”  Old poem, supposed to be the original of the scene “on the Brocken” in Faust.  A curious mistake of GOETHE’s, probably due to his not having been educated at Eton.

4.  The original “funny” owned by Master JOSEPH MILLER, supposed to have provided him with the notion for his first jest.

*** Also the original jest itself, bottled in high spirits, and in a fair state of preservation.  As clearly as can be deciphered, the legend is something about “an Indian,” “an oarsman,” and “feathering a scull,” or “skull.”

5.  A dissertation on the text that “The weakest goes to the Wall,” showing how this proverb has been for many years directly contradicted, not only in theory but in practice during the Foot-ball time; it being at Eton the strongest who invariably go to “the Wall.”

6.  A finely illustrated poem on a bathing subject.  It is called “The Passing of Arthur.”  The picture shows the Masters on the bank at Cuckoo Ware, while one small natational Candidate is still in a punt shiveringly awaiting the command to jump in again and swim the regulation distance.  From the title, it may be taken for granted that this ARTHUR did “pass” after all.  Poor little chap!

7. “Going a Cropper off the Acropperlis at Athens.”  Another bathing subject—­unsigned.

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MOMUS ON MANIPUR.

  Sentiment, GORST, to your stern soul,
    May seem a “Simple Simon;”
  But if there be a cheaper role,
    ’Tis that of twopenny Timon!

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Twin MOTTO.—­“You mustn’t speak to the Man at the Wheel” has become a proverbial expression.  It stood alone.  Now it has a companion; it comes from the hand of “A Master.”  It is, “You must not speak to the Gentlemen of the Jury.” The exceptions which prove this rule are in favour of the Judge, the Counsel, the Clerk, and the Usher.

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THE LOST SERGEANT.