As it appened it was fortunet as we was so prepared, for, strange to say, we hadn’t got so werry far from Lundon Bridge, when, by sum mistake of the Clark of the whether, as our jolly Coachman told us, it began for to rain, but he said as how as he knowd as much about the Darby wether as most men, as he’d driven there about twenty times in the larst duzzen years, and what we was a having was ony a parsing shower.  How it was I coudnt quite undustand, for whether we druv fast or whether we druv slow, doose a bit coud we get away from that parsing shower.  However, tho’ we did both get jolly wet, we had sum capital fun, for we seed no less than too coaches and four upset in the road, and to see the poor passengers all a standing in the mud, which it was about amost up to their nees, and a wundering what time they shood get to the Darby, was more than enuff to console us, and we all larfed artily and left ’em.  Such is human Natur!

Before we both got quite wet through, I got my best beloved a seat inside, and, strange to say, although she was werry much scrowged, she axshally prefurrd it to setting out in the rain along of me.  It may have bin thorts of her new Bonnet.  Such agane is human Natur!  Luckily, jest after she left me, one of our wheels sunk down in a werry deep ole, and all on us on my side had to get down into the fearful mud, and wait till our gallant steeds pulled it out again, and, unluckily, the one as pulled hardest, let his foot slip, and sent a reglar shower of whity-brown mud all over me from top to toe, or rayther, from At to Boots, and I was in that orful state that all our set, Coachman and all, acshally roared with larfter.  Such again, I fears, is human Nature!

When we got to the Darby, in course our fust thort was lunch, but afore I coud get beyond laying the cloth, there came such a reglar buster of an ail storm that we was all drove hunder the homnibus for shelter, and when it leaved off, and I went on the roof, the table cloth was about three inches thick with round ale stones!  Ah, that was a difficult lunch that was, and beat all my xperience in that line.

I didn’t see much of the race, I didn’t, for as it pored in torrents all the time, I had to seek for a shelter, and under a omnibus is not a werry favrabel place to get a good view of a horse-race, but ewery body seemed to speak of it as a werry common one, whatever that may mean.  However we was hamply reckompensed by the most wunderful site as praps was hever seen in the shape of humberellers.  Heverybody had one, and heverybody put it hup, so, as my better harf poetically expressed it, it was xacly like a most butiful field of henormous mushrooms a hopening out theirselves to the morning hair!

We was remarkably fortnate in cumming back, as it didn’t rain near so much as it did in the morning, and quite left off jest as we got home.  My sweet darling didn’t grumbel a bit at me for giving her such a reglar damper for her birthday, but the werry larst thing as she did say that night was, “Thank you, ROBERT dear, for your little holliday, but I think that we won’t spend my next buthday at the Darby!”