A Battle-field in time of War.  Enter TOMMY ATKINS with his rifle.  In the interval, since the close of the last Act, he is supposed to have been thoroughly instructed in its proper use, and, though on one or two occasions, owing to disregard of some trifling precaution, he has found it “jam,” still, in the leisure of the practice-field, he has been generally able to get it right again, and put it in workable order.  He is now hurrying along in all the excitement of battle, and in face of the enemy, of whom a batch appear on the horizon in front of him, when the word is given to “fire."

Tommy Atkins (endeavours to execute the order, but he finds something “stuck,” and his rifle refuses to go off.) Dang it!  What’s the matter with the beastly thing!  It’s that there bolt that’s caught agin’ (thumps it furiously in his excitement and makes matters worse.) Dang the blooming thing; I can’t make it go. (Vainly endeavours to recall some directions, committed in calmer moments, to memory.) Drop the bolt?  No! that ain’t it.  Loose this ’ere pin (tugs frantically at a portion of the mechanism.) ’Ang me if I can make it go! (Removes a pin which suddenly releases the magazine), well, I’ve done it now and no mistake.  Might as well send one to fight with a broomstick. (A shell explodes just behind him.) Well, I am in a ’ole and no mistake. [Battle proceeds with results as Act-drop falls.

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OLD FRENCH SAW RE-SET.—­FROM THE STANDARD, NOVEMBER 14:—­

“The duel between M. DEROULEDE and M. LAGUERRE occurred yesterday morning in the neighbourhood of Charleroi, in Belgium.  Four shots were exchanged without any result.  On returning to Charleroi the combatants and their seconds were arrested.”

    “C’est Laguerre, mais ce n’est pas magnifique.”

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