* * * * *

[Illustration:  PROPOSED RAISING OF PICCADILLY.

“Let the road be raised, &c....  Only one house in Piccadilly at present standing would suffer....  And I think the Badminton Club.”

Vile Letter to Times, Oct. 11.

SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF THE PICCADILLY GOAT TO ELDERLY GENTLEMAN, WHO IS
QUIETLY DRESSING IN HIS ROOM ON SECOND FLOOR.

A CLUB ALMOST ENTIRELY DISAPPEARS.  MEMBERS MAKE THE BEST OF THE
SITUATION.]

* * * * *

L’ART DE CAUSER.

(WITH EFFECTS UP TO DATE.)

[English ladies, conscious of conversational defects, and desirous of shining in Society, may be expected to imitate their American Cousins, who, according to The Daily News, employ a lady crammer who has made a study of the subject she teaches.  Before a dinner or luncheon party, the crammer spends an hour or two with the pupil, and coaches her up in general conversation.]

  It really took us by surprise,
    We thought her but a mere beginner,
  And widely opened were our eyes
    To hear her brilliant talk at dinner. 
  She always knew just what to say,
    And said it well, nor for a minute
  Was ever at a loss,—­I may
    As well confess—­we men weren’t in it!

  The talk was of Roumania’s Queen,
    And was she equal, say, to DANTE?—­
  The way that race was won by Sheen,
    And not the horse called Alicante—­
  Of how some charities were frauds,
    How some again were quite deserving—­
  The beauties of the Norfolk broads—­
    The latest hit of Mr. IRVING—­

  Does sap go up or down the stem?—­
    The Boom of Mr. RUDYARD KIPLING—­
  The speeches of the G.O.M.—­
    The strength of Mr. MORLEY’s “stripling”
  Was JONAH swallowed by the whale?—­
    The price of jute—­we wondered all if
  They’d have the heart to send to gaol
    Those heroes, SLAVIN and McAULIFFE.

  “Oh, maiden fair,” I said at last,
    “To hear you talk is most delightful;
  But yet the time, it’s clear, you’ve passed
    In reading must be something frightful. 
  Come—­do you trouble thus your head
    Because you want to go to College
  By getting out of Mr. STEAD
    L300 for General Knowledge?”

  “Kind Sir,” she promptly then replied,
    “Your guess, I quite admit, was clever,
  And, if I now in you confide,
    You’ll keep it dark, I’m sure, for ever. 
  Yet do not get, I pray, enraged,
    For how I got my information
  Was simply this—­I have engaged
    A Coach in General Conversation,”

* * * * *

SERVED A LA RUSSE.

MY DEAR MR. PUNCH,