OR, “APPROACHING” THE HYDRA.

[The London County Council adopted the Report of a Committee:  “That the Committee be authorised to enter into tentative negotiations with the Water Companies, for the purpose of ascertaining upon what terms the Companies will be prepared to dispose of their undertakings to the Council.”  The Vice-Chairman (Sir T. FARRER) thought that the Committee “would be as wax in the hands of the clever agents of the Companies.”  The Chairman (Sir JOHN LUBBOCK) was in favour of deferring the question.]

  That Hydra again!  Monster huge, hydro-cephalous,
    Haunting our city of blunders and jobs,
  Born, it would seem, to bewilder and baffle us,
    Who’ll give you “one” for your numerous nobs. 
  Many have menaced you, some had a shy at you;
    SALISBURY stout, and bespectacled CROSS,
  Each in his season has joined in the cry at you,
    Little, ’twould seem, to your damage or loss. 
  Still you eight-headed and lanky-limbed monster, you
    Sprawl and monopolise, spread and devour. 
  Many assail you, but hitherto, none stir you. 
    Say, has the hero arrived, and the hour? 
  No Infant Hercules, surely, can tackle you,
    Ancient abortion, with hope of success. 
  It needeth a true full-grown hero to shackle you,
    Jupiter’s son, and Alcmene’s, no less! 
  Our civic Hercules smacks of the nursery,
    Not three years old, though ambitious, no doubt;
  You’ll scarce be captured by tentatives cursory. 
    Snared by a “motion,” or scared by a “spout,”
  Hera’s pet, offspring of Typhon, the lion-clad
    Hero assailed, con amore; but you,
  Callous as Behemoth, hard as an iron-clad,
    “Conciliation” with coldness will view
  Fancy “approaching” the Hydra with honey-bait,
    Tempting the monster to parley and purr! 
  How will Monopoly look on a money-bait? 
    Hercules, too, who would “like to defer?”
  Not quite a true hard-shell hero—­in attitude—­
    Hercules (County) Concilians looks;
  Thinks he to move a true Hydra to gratitude? 
    Real Leviathan chortles at hooks! 
  “Come, pretty Hydra!  ‘Agreement provisional,’
    Properly baited with sound L.S.D.,
  Ought to entice you!” He’s scorn and derision all,
    Hydra, if true to his breed.  We shall see! 
  Just so a groom, with the bridle behind him,
    Tempts a free horse with some corn in a sieve. 
  Will London’s Hydra let “tentatives” blind him,
    Snap at the bait, and the tempter believe? 
  Or will the “hero”—­in form of Committee—­
    Really prove wax for the Hydra to mould? 
  Yes, there’s the club, but it’s rather a pity
    Hercules seems a bit feeble of hold. 
  Tentative heroes may suit modern urgency,
    LUBBOCK may win where a Hercules fails. 
  If we now hunt, upon public emergency,
    Stymphalian Birds, ’tis with salt for their tails!