’The violent Passion of one Lady for her Lap-Dog; the turning away of the old House-Maid by another; a Tavern-Bill torn by the Wife, and a Taylor’s by the Husband; a Quarrel about the Kissing-Crust; spoiling of Dinners, and coming in late of Nights; are so many several Articles which occasioned the Reprobation of some Scores of Demandants, whose Names are recorded in the aforesaid Register.

’Without enumerating other particular Persons, I shall content my self with observing, that the Sentence pronounced against one Gervase Poacher is, that he might have had Bacon to his Eggs, if he had not heretofore scolded his Wife when they were over boiled.  And the Deposition against Dorothy Dolittle runs in these Words; That she had so far usuped the Dominion of the Coalfire, (the Stirring whereof her Husband claimed to himself) that by her good Will she never would suffer the Poker out of her Hand.

’I find but two Couples, in this first Century, that were successful:  The first, was a Sea-Captain and his Wife, who since the Day of their Marriage, had not seen one another till the Day of the Claim.  The Second, was an honest Pair in the Neighbourhood; The Husband was a Man of plain good Sense, and a peaceable Temper; the Woman was dumb.’

[Footnote 1:  Lord Macaulay, in a letter published p. 1433 ... of Mr. Bohn’s edition of Lowndes’s ‘Bibliographer’s Manual’, calls this paper ‘undoubtedly Addison’s, and one of his best,’ although not claimed, because he could not own it without admitting what Lord Macaulay rightly considered quite as obvious, his authorship of No. 623.  Addison wrote, evidently, some other of these unappropriated papers.]

* * * * *

No. 609.  Wednesday, October 20, 1714.

  ‘—­Farrago libelli—­’

  Juv.

  Mr. SPECTATOR,

’I have for some Time desired to appear in your Paper, and have therefore chosen a Day [1] to steal into the SPECTATOR, when I take it for granted you will not have many spare Minutes for Speculations of your own.  As I was the other Day walking with an honest Country-Gentleman, he very often was expressing his Astonishment to see the Town so mightily crowded with Doctors of Divinity:  Upon which I told him he was very much mistaken if he took all those Gentlemen he saw in Scarfs to be Persons of that Dignity; for, that a young Divine, after his first Degree in the University, usually comes hither only to show himself; and on that Occasion is apt to think he is but half equipp’d with a Gown and Cassock for his publick Appearance, if he hath not the additional Ornament of a Scarf of the first Magnitude to intitle him to the Appellation of Doctor from his Landlady and the Boy at Childs.  Now since I know that this Piece of Garniture is looked upon as a Mark of Vanity or Affectation, as it is