’Aubry de Falstaff, Son of Sir John Falstaff, Kt. with Dame Maude his Wife, were the first that demanded the Bacon, he having bribed twain of his Father’s Companions to swear falsly in his Behoof whereby he gained the Flitch:  But he and his said Wife falling immediately into a Dispute how the said Bacon should be dressed, it was by Order of the Judges taken from him, and hung up again in the Hall.

’Alison the Wife of Stephen Freckle, brought her said Husband along with her, and set forth the good Conditions and Behaviour of her Consort, adding withal that she doubted not but he was ready to attest the like of her, his Wife; whereupon he, the said Stephen, shaking his Head, she turned short upon him, and gave him a Box on the Ear.

  ’Philip de Waverland, having laid his Hand upon the Book, when the
  Clause, Were I sole and she sole, was rehearsed, found a secret
  Compunction rising in his Mind, and stole it off again.

’Richard de Loveless, who was a Courtier, and a very wellbred Man, being observed to hesitate at the Words after our Marriage, was thereupon required to explain himself.  He reply’d, by talking very largely of his exact Complaisance while he was a Lover; and alledg’d, that he had not in the least disobliged his Wife for a Year and a Day before Marriage, which he hoped was the same Thing.

  ’Rejected.

  ’Joceline Jolly, Esq., making it appear by unquestionable Testimony,
  That he and his Wife had presented full and entire Affection for the
  Space of the first Month, commonly called the Honey-Moon; he had in
  Consideration thereof one Rasher bestowed upon him.

’After this, says the Record, many Years passed over before any Demandant appeared at Whichenovre-Hall; insomuch that one would have thought that the whole Country were turned Jews, so little was their Affection to the Flitch of Bacon.

’The next Couple enrolled had like to have carried it, if one of the Witnesses had not deposed, That dining on a Sunday with the Demandant, whose Wife had sate below the Squire’s Lady at Church, she the said Wife dropped some Expressions, as if she thought her Husband deserved to be knighted; to which he returned a passionate Pish!  The Judges taking the Premises into Consideration, declared the aforesaid Behaviour to imply an unwarrantable Ambition in the Wife, and Anger in the Husband.

  ’It is recorded as a sufficient Disqualification of a certain Wife,
  that speaking of her Husband, she said, God forgive him.

  ’It is likewise remarkable, that a Couple were rejected upon the
  Deposition of one of their Neighbours, that the Lady had once told her
  Husband, that it was her Duty to obey; to which he replied, Oh! my
  Dear, you are never in the wrong.