When he saw that it was time, he called a p’liceman,
  And exclaimed, “Oh, I have broken the Tsar’s peace, man. 
  I’ve killed my wife!—­I did it in a fury—­
  But I wish the matter brought before a jury.” 
  And the jury, after hearing all the case,
  Said, “Not Guilty.  We’d have done it in his place.” 
  And he lately, in a Russian railway carriage,
  Told Count TOLSTOI all the story of his marriage.

* * * * *

“The Law of Arms is such.”—­Mr. Punch greatly regrets that he was unable to be present at the Annual Inspection of the Inns of Court Volunteers, when members were requested to “show every article of equipment and clothing of which they were in possession.”  No doubt the exhibition was as interesting as imposing.  It is rumoured that the display of wigs and gowns (worn in Court) and lawn-tennis blazers (used in the Temple Gardens) was absolutely magnificent.  It is further reported that the large collection of go-to-meeting hats, frock-coats, and patent-leather boots extorted universal admiration from all beholders.  To his sorrow, a prior engagement prevented Mr. A. BRIEFLESS Junior, (who is an Hon. Member of the Corps), from putting in an appearance.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE PROPOSED NATIONAL GALLERY OF BRITISH ART IN DANGER.

Mr. Henry Tate.  “NO, THANK YOU, MR. RED TAPE, I DON’T WANT MY GIFTS TO THE NATION TO BE TIED UP BY YOU, THEN PACKED AWAY, AND NEVER SEEN AGAIN!”]

* * * * *

WHAT IT WILL COME TO;

OR, THE COURT, THE CHASE, AND THE CURSE.

“Mr. MONTAGU WILLIAMS used some strong language yesterday in reference to the small room in which he was called upon to administer Justice while the Worship Street Police Court is being renovated.”—­Evening Paper.

    SCENE—­A small apartment in a Metropolitan Police Court. 
    Presiding Magistrate and Clerk discovered.

Presiding Magistrate.  There!  You and I can sit here, and the rest can remain outside.  And now I will take the night charges.

Voice from Passage (without).  Please, your worship, as I was on duty last night, this man—­

Builder (putting his head in).  Sorry to trouble you, Sir, but we have got something to do to the flooring.  Must ask you to be off.

P.M. (restraining his indignation).  Very well; the Court is adjourned to the back garden. (Scene changes to that locality.) Come, this is better!  Fresh air, in spite of the smuts!  And now, Constable, go on with your evidence.

Police Constable.  Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night, this man—­

Builder (entering).  Very sorry to trouble you again, Sir, but there’s something wrong with the drains.  We think the pipes are out of order, and so we shall have to dig them up.  So, if you don’t mind moving—­