ARCHIBALD C. KNOTT.

    [Extract.]

DEAR BOY,—­Your mother and I are delighted that you will be demobbed in about a week from now....  By the way you will be glad to hear that we can start making that second tennis-court in the paddock as soon as you get back.  I have had the remains of what was known as Knott’s Folly in your great-grandfather’s day removed, at a total cost of two denarii (which had been lying in a drawer in my dressing-room for years); not so bad, considering the present cost of labour.  But of this more anon.

    Your affectionate

    FATHER.

* * * * *

A CRICKET BARGAIN.

(Before the match.)

  We meet as foes, my James, this summer weather,
    But sterner summers saw us twain in league;
  Shoulder to shoulder have we stood together
          On Q.M.S. fatigue.

  So, when (ninth wicket down) to-day I enter
    Upon my tenure of the crease and gaze
  Nervously at you, having taken centre,
          Remember bygone days.

  Abate your skill, so shall my nerves grow firmer,
    Till driving seems the easiest of jobs,
  And passers-by shall pause and haply murmur,
          “Golly, can that be HOBBS?”

  Do this for me, and you’ll discover later
    How fame awaits the generous and good;
  A few long hops shall win a glory greater
          Than ever break-back could.

  If for a ball or two you let me smite you,
    Running amok with dashing bat and bold,
  My Muse shall have instructions to requite you
          Even an hundredfold.

  You shall she hymn in strains that do not falter,
    Proclaim of you for all who run to read:—­
  “He sacrificed his length on friendship’s altar;
          He was a pal indeed.”

* * * * *

FOR THE CHILDREN.

At this season, when their own children are already counting the days that lie between them and their holidays, Mr. Punch appeals to his kind readers not to forget the greater needs of the children in our elementary schools.  The cost of sending them away to the sea or countryside for fresh air and change of scene is constantly increasing and the Children’s Country Holidays Fund cannot keep up its good work without generous help.  There can be no better way of making a Peace-offering than by helping to build up the health and strength of the new generation.  Mr. Punch begs that liberal gifts may be sent to the Secretary of the Fund at 18, Buckingham Street, Strand, W.C.2.

* * * * *

SCENES FROM OUR GREAT FILM:  “AUDACITY DOWN THE AGES.”

[Illustration:  MYTHICAL ENGINEER MAKING A SUGGESTION TO SISYPHUS.]

[Illustration:  GLADIATOR CALLING FOR MORE AND LARGER LIONS.]

[Illustration:  ANCIENT BRITON DEFYING HIS CHIEF, AND REFUSING TO WOAD.]