they are almost mad at first, but ’tis a mere flash; as chaff and straw soon fired, burn vehemently for a while, yet out in a moment; so are all such matches made by those allurements of burning lust; where there is no respect of honesty, parentage, virtue, religion, education, and the like, they are extinguished in an instant, and instead of love comes hate; for joy, repentance and desperation itself.  Franciscus Barbarus in his first book de re uxoria, c. 5, hath a story of one Philip of Padua that fell in love with a common whore, and was now ready to run mad for her; his father having no more sons let him enjoy her; [5053]"but after a few days, the young man began to loath, could not so much as endure the sight of her, and from one madness fell into another.”  Such event commonly have all these lovers; and he that so marries, or for such respects, let them look for no better success than Menelaus had with Helen, Vulcan with Venus, Theseus with Phaedra, Minos with Pasiphae, and Claudius with Messalina; shame, sorrow, misery, melancholy, discontent.

SUBSECT.  IV.—­Importunity and Opportunity of Time, Place, Conference, Discourse, Singing, Dancing, Music, Amorous Tales, Objects, Kissing, Familiarity, Tokens, Presents, Bribes, Promises, Protestations, Tears, &c.

All these allurements hitherto are afar off, and at a distance; I will come nearer to those other degrees of love, which are conference, kissing, dalliance, discourse, singing, dancing, amorous tales, objects, presents, &c., which as so many sirens steal away the hearts of men and women.  For, as Tacitus observes, l. 2, [5054]"It is no sufficient trial of a maid’s affection by her eyes alone, but you must say something that shall be more available, and use such other forcible engines; therefore take her by the hand, wring her fingers hard, and sigh withal; if she accept this in good part, and seem not to be much averse, then call her mistress, take her about the neck and kiss her,” &c.  But this cannot be done except they first get opportunity of living, or coming together, ingress, egress, and regress; letters and commendations may do much, outward gestures and actions:  but when they come to live near one another, in the same street, village, or together in a house, love is kindled on a sudden.  Many a serving-man by reason of this opportunity and importunity inveigles his master’s daughter, many a gallant loves a dowdy, many a gentleman runs upon his wife’s maids; many ladies dote upon their men, as the queen in Ariosto did upon the dwarf, many matches are so made in haste, and they are compelled as it were by [5055]necessity so to love, which had they been free, come in company of others, seen that variety which many places afford, or compared them to a third, would never have looked one upon another.  Or had not that opportunity of discourse and familiarity been offered, they would have loathed and contemned those whom, for want of better choice and other objects,