"Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that last all night? The only difference between a date and job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked at the end of it." Chapter 1, Freeway of Love, p. 9.

"But you know, some people actually cheat on the people that they're cheating with, which is like holding up a bank and then turning to the robber next to you and going, 'All right, give me everything you got, too.'" Chapter 1, Freeway of Love, pp. 24-25.

"Women definitely go to maintenance extremes. It's amazing the way women take care of all the hair on their bodies. One of the great mysteries to me is the fact that a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still...