Part Four: Chapter 12, The Family Crucible Summary and Analysis

Children learn emotional skills at home that affect them their entire lives. Carole Hooven and John Gottman of the University of Washington identified the three most toxic parenting styles as: ignoring feelings altogether, being too laissez-faire (rarely getting involved), and being contemptuous or showing no respect for the child's feelings.

Harvard pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton found through research that a child's readiness for learning is based on seven key factors: confidence, curiosity, intentionality (the wish to have an impact), self-control, relatedness (engaging with others), capacity to communicate and cooperativeness. These skills are either taught or neglected by parents in their day-to-day interactions with their children. Children who are disciplined irregularly or based on the mood of the parents learn aggression that can follow them through life. Abuse warps a child's perceptions...