Debutantes
The debutante (from the French débuter, to begin) is a young woman, usually of age 17 or 18, who is formally introduced to affluent society at a ball or "coming out" party. The original purpose of the "debut" was to announce that young women of prominent social standing were available for courtship by eligible young men. This social ritual was necessitated by the traditional upper-class practice of sending girls away to boarding school where they were virtually hidden from view—prohibited from dating, attending parties of mixed company, or socializing with adults. A formal announcement thus introduced the debutante to her social peers and potential suitors. The custom had been long established among the aristocracy and the upper classes in England, where debutantes were, until the mid-twentieth century, presented at Court. In America, the debutante ball derived from the formal etiquette of the nineteenth century, but the ritual has been transformed by each generation's evolving notions about the proprieties of class, sexual freedom, and the role of women.
According to the 1883 etiquette reference, The Manners That Win, a debutante should have graduated school, sing or play an instrument gracefully, dance with elegance, and know the rules governing polite society. Having mastered these essential skills, she was presumed ready for courtship, leading, of course, to marriage—at the time the single vocational avenue open to the well-to-do woman. A second purpose was, however, implicit in debut parties of the Gilded Age. Since debutante balls were private affairs, held at the family's residential estate or at a fashionable hotel until the early twentieth century, they also pointed to a given family's wealth, prestige, and style.
By the 1920s, some latitude had relaxed the rules of the debut. In her seminal Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage (1922), Emily Post described several ways that a young woman might be introduced to society. These included a formal ball, an afternoon tea with dancing, a small dance, or a small tea without music. In addition, Post listed a fifth and more modest way for a family to announce that a daughter had reached the age of majority: mother and daughter might simply have joint calling cards engraved. For the most part, private debuts had become a thing of the past, replaced by public cotillions or assemblies that invited prominent young women to make their debuts collectively. These long established debutante balls include the Passavant Cotillion in Chicago; Boston's Cotillion; the Junior Assemblies in New York; and the Harvest Ball at the Piedmont Driving Club in Atlanta.
After World War II, the debutante ball spread to almost every city in America and enjoyed a heyday during the conservative Eisenhower years. Yet a decade later, anti-establishment sentiment led many young women of even the most affluent status to abandon the event, dismissing it as anachronistic snobbery. In addition, sexual liberation and the feminist movement challenged the very basis of the century-old convention, as women began to seek both sexual and professional fulfillment outside of marriage. In the exuberantly prosperous 1980s, the debutante ball witnessed a popular resurgence and, by the century's end, cotillions were frequently being sponsored by charitable organizations that extended invitations exclusively to philanthropically active women.
If there is one rule that has not changed over the years, though, it is the debutante's dress. She is to wear a white gown, though a pastel shade may be considered acceptable. Loud colors or black have remained always inappropriate.
The Seattle Rhinestone debutantes of 1956. Further Reading:
Post, Peggy. Emily Post's Etiquette. New York, Harper Collins, 1997.
Roosevelt, Eleanor. Eleanor Roosevelt's Book of Common Sense Etiquette. New York, Macmillan., 1962.
Schlesinger, Arthur M. Learning How to Behave. New York, Macmillan, 1947.
Tuckerman, Nancy, and Nancy Dunnan. The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette. New York, Doubleday, 1985.
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