This monolithic model, however, excludes the majority of the population; indeed, a growing number of persons do not desire such a model even if it were attainable. It is based on the false notion of a single and uniform intimate experience that many argue has racist, sexist, and classist connotations.
This distress about the demise of the family is not particularly new. For at least a century American observers and social critics have warned against the negative consequences of changes in the family. Yes, the family has indeed changed, but the vast majority of the population, both then and now, still prefers to marry, have children, and live in a committed, monogamous relationship. The most profound changes to date have not occurred in alternatives to marriage but rather in alternatives prior to marriage, and alternative ways in structuring marriage itself, while keeping the basic institution and its purposes intact. For example, nonmarital sex, delayed marriage and childbearing, and cohabitation are practiced with increasing frequency and are tolerated by a larger percentage of the population than ever before. And within marriage itself, new behaviors and ideologies are becoming increasingly popular, such as greater equality between men and women (although gender equality is more an ideal than a reality in most marriages).
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