Pao

What is the context and main idea of this passage from Chapter 32? "Maybe everything you would wish you could be yourself but you are not. And on top of all of this, the very special thing about Esther is her forgiveness."

Pao by Kerry Young

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I think that Pao is commenting on what a special person that Rachel is. He wishes that he had Rachel's special trait: he wishes he had Rachel's sense of forgiveness.