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Table of Contents | |
Section | Page |
Start of eBook | 1 |
Title: The Tales and Novels, v17: The Progress of Wit &c | 1 |
ETEXT EDITOR’S BOOKMARKS: | 9 |
Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) | 10 |
(Three Pages) | 11 |
Author: Jean de La Fontaine
Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5291] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on June 21, 2002]
Edition: 10
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** Start of the project gutenberg Ebook tales and novels of Fontaine, V17 ***
This eBook was produced by David Widger widger@cecomet.net
[Note: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the file for those who may wish to sample the author’s ideas before making an entire meal of them. D.W.]
The tales
and novels
of
J. De La Fontaine
Volume 17.
Contains:
The Progress of Wit
The Sick Abbess
The Truckers
The progress of wit
Diverting in extreme there is a play,
Which oft resumes its fascinating sway;
Delights the sex, or ugly, fair, or sour;
By night or day:—’tis sweet at any hour.
The frolick, ev’ry where is known to fame;
Conjecture if you can, and tells its name.
Thisplay’s chief charm to husbands is unknown;
’Tis
with the lover it excels alone;
No
lookers-on, as umpires, are required;
No
quarrels rise, though each appears inspired;
All
seem delighted with the pleasing game:—
Conjecture
if you can, and tell its name.
Bethis as ’twill, and called whate’er it
may;
No
longer trifling with it I shall stay,
But
now disclose a method to transmit
(As
oft we find) to ninnies sense and wit.
Till
Alice got instruction in this school,
She
was regarded as a silly fool,
Her
exercise appeared to spin and sew:—
Not
hers indeed, the hands alone would go;
For
sense or wit had in it no concern;
Whate’er
the foolish girl had got to learn,
No
part therein could ever take the mind;
Her
doll, for thought, was just as well designed.
The
mother would, a hundred times a day,
Abuse
the stupid maid, and to her say
Go
wretched lump and try some wit to gain.
Thegirl, quite overcome with shame and pain;
Her
neighbours asked to point her out the spot,
Where
useful wit by purchase might be got.
The
simple question laughter raised around;
At
length they told her, that it might be found
With
father Bonadventure, who’d a stock,
Which
he at times disposed of to his flock.
Awayin haste she to the cloister went,
To
see the friar she was quite intent,
Though
trembling lest she might disturb his ease;
And
one of his high character displease.
The
girl exclaimed, as on she moved,—Will he
Such
presents willingly bestow on me,
Whose
age, as yet, has scarcely reached fifteen?
With
such can I be worthy to be seen?
Her
innocence much added to her charms,
The
gentle wily god of soft alarms
Had
not a youthful maiden in his book,
That
carried more temptation in her look.
Mostrev’rend sir, said she, by friends I’m
told,
That
in this convent wit is often sold,
Will
you allow me some on trust to take?
My
treasure won’t afford that much I stake;
I
can return if more I should require;
Howe’er,
you’ll take this pledge I much desire;
On
which she tried to give the monk a ring,
That
to her finger firmly seemed to cling.
Butwhen the friar saw the girl’s design,
He
cried, good maid, the pledge we will decline,
And
what is wished, provide for you the same;
’Tis
merchandize, and whatsoe’er its fame,
To
some ’tis freely giv’n:—to others
taught
If
not too dear, oft better when ’tis bought.
Come
in and boldly follow where I lead;
None
round can see: you’ve nothing here to heed;
They’re
all at prayers; the porter’s at my will;
The
very walls, of prudence have their fill.
Sheentered as the holy monk desired,
And
they together to his cell retired.
The
friar on the bed this maiden threw;
A
kiss would take:—she from him rather drew;
And
said.—To give one wit is this the way?
Yes,
answered he, and round her ’gan to play:
Upon
her bosom then he put his hand
What
now, said she, am I to understand?
Is
this the way?—Said he, ’tis so decreed;
Then
patiently she let the monk proceed,
Who
followed up, from point to point, his aim;
And
wit, by easy steps, advancing came,
Till
its progression with her was complete;
Then
Alice laughed, success appeared so sweet.
A
second dose the friar soon bestowed,
And
e’en a third, so fast his bounty flowed.
Well,
said the monk, pray how d’ye find the play?
The
girl replied: wit will not long delay;
’Twill
soon arrive; but then I fear its flight:
I’m
half afraid ’twill leave me ere ’tis night.
We’ll
see, rejoined the priest, that naught you lose;
Twodays had passed, when came a youthful friend;
Fair
Nancy with her often would unbend;
Howe’er,
so very thoughtful Alice seemed,
That
Nancy (who was penetrating deemed)
Was
well convinced whatever Alice sought,
So
very absent she was not for naught.
In
questioning she managed with such art,
That
soon she learned—what Alice could impart
To
listen she was thoroughly disposed,
While
t’other ev’ry circumstance disclosed,
From
first to last, each point and mystick hit,
And
e’en the largeness of the friar’s wit,
The
repetitions, and the wondrous skill
With
which he managed ev’ry thing at will.
Butnow, cried Alice, favour me I pray,
And
tell at once, without reserve, the way
That
you obtained such wit as you possess,
And
all particulars to me confess.
IfI, said Nancy, must avow the truth,
Your
brother Alan was the bounteous youth,
Who
me obliged therewith, and freely taught,
What
from the holy friar you’d have bought.
My
brother Alan!—Alan! Alice cried;
He
ne’er with any was himself supplied;
I’m
all surprise; he’s thought a heavy clot,
How
could he give what he had never got?
Fool!
said the other, little thou can’st know;
For
once, to me some information owe;
In
such a case much skill is not required,
And
Alan freely gave what I desired.
If
me thou disbeliev’st, thy mother ask;
She
thoroughly can undertake the task.
On such a point we readily
should say,
Long live the fools who wit so well display!
The Sick abbess
Example often proves of sov’reign use;
At other times it cherishes abuse;
’Tis not my purpose, howsoe’er, to tell
Which of the two I fancy to excel.
Some will conceive the Abbess acted right,
While others think her conduct very light
Be that as ’twill, her actions right or wrong,
I’ll freely give a license to my tongue,
Or pen, at all events, and clearly show,
By what some nuns were led to undergo,
That flocks are equally of flesh and blood,
And, if one passes, hundreds stem the flood,
To follow up the course the first has run,
And imitate what t’other has begun.
When Agnes passed, another sister came,
And ev’ry nun desired to do the same;
At length the guardian of the flock appeared,
And likewise passed, though much at first she feared.
The tale is this, we purpose to relate;
And full particulars we now will state.
AnAbbess once a certain illness had,
Chlorosis
named, which oft proves very bad,
Destroys
the rose that decorates the cheek,
And
renders females languid, pale, and weak.
Our
lady’s face was like a saint’s in Lent:
Quite
wan, though otherwise it marked content.
The
faculty, consulted on her case,
And
who the dire disorder’s source would trace,
At
length pronounced slow fever must succeed,
And
death inevitably be decreed,
Unless;—but
this unless is very strange
Unless
indeed she some way could arrange;
To
gratify her wish, which seemed to vex,
And
converse be allowed with t’other sex:
Hippocrates,
howe’er, more plainly speaks,
No
circumlocutory phrase he seeks.
O
Jesus! quite abashed the Abbess cried;
What
is it?—fy!—a man would you provide?
Yes,
they rejoined, ’tis clearly what you want,
And
you will die without a brisk gallant;
One
truly able will alone suffice;
And,
if not such, take two we would advise.
This
still was worse, though, if we rightly guess,
’Twas
by her wished, durst she the truth confess.
But
how the sisterhood would see her take
Such
remedies and no objection make?
Shame
often causes injury and pain;
And
ills concealed bring others in their train.
Saidsister Agnes, Madam, take their word;
A
remedy like this would be absurd,
If,
like old death, it had a haggard look,
And
you designed to get by hook or crook.
A
hundred secrets you retain at ease;
Can
one so greatly shock and you displease?—
You
talk at random, Agnes, she replied;
Now,
would you for the remedy decide,
A
thousand thanks the Abbess gave her friend;
The
doctors said:—no use for them to send;
Throughout
the convent sad distress appeared;
When
Agnes, who to sage advice adhered,
And
was not thought the weakest head around,
A
kinder soul perhaps could not be found,
Said
to the sisterhood,—What now retains
Our
worthy Abbess, and her will enchains,
Is
nothing but the shame of pow’rs divine,
Or
else, to what’s prescribed she would resign.
Through
charity will no one take the lead,
And,
by example, get her to proceed?
Thecounsel was by ev’ry one approved,
And
commendation through the circle moved.
Inthis design not one, nor grave, nor old,
Nor
young, nor prioress, at all seemed cold;
Notes
flew around, and friends of worth and taste,
The
black, the fair, the brown, appeared in haste;
The
number was not small, our records say,
Not
(what might be) appearance of delay,
But
all most anxious seemed the road to show,
And
what the Abbess feared, at once to know;
None
more sincerely ’mong the nuns desired,
That
shame should not prevent what was required.
Nor
that the Abbess should, within her soul,
Retain
what might injuriously control.
Nosooner one among the flock had made
The
step, of which the Abbess was afraid,
But
other sisters followed in the train:—
Not
one behind consented to remain;
Each
forward pressed, in dread to be the last;
At
length, from prejudice the Abbess passed;
To
such examples she at last gave way,
And,
to a youth, no longer offered nay.
Theoperation o’er, her lily face
Resumed
the rose, and ev’ry other grace.
O
remedy divine, prescription blessed!
Thy
friendly aid to numbers stands confessed;
The
friends of thousands, friend of nature too;
The
friend of all, except where honour ’s due.
This
point of honour is another ill,
In
which the faculty confess no skill.
What ills in life! what
mis’ries dire around,
While remedies so easy may be found!
The Truckers
The change of food enjoyment is to man;
In this, t’include the woman is my plan.
I cannot guess why Rome will not allow
Exchange in wedlock, and its leave avow;
Not ev’ry time such wishes might arise,
But, once in life at least, ’twere not unwise;
Perhaps one day we may the boon obtain;
Amen, I say: my sentiments are plain;
The privilege in France may yet arrive
There trucking pleases, and exchanges thrive;
The people love variety, we find;
And such by heav’n was ere for them designed.
Oncethere dwelled, near Rouen, (sapient clime)
Two
villagers, whose wives were in their prime,
And
rather pleasing in their shape and mien,
For
those in whom refinement ’s scarcely seen.
Each
looker-on conceives, love needs not greet
Such
humble wights, as he would prelates treat.
Ithappened, howsoe’er, both weary grown,
Of
halves that they so long had called their own;
One
holyday, with them there chanced to drink
The
village lawyer (bred in Satan’s sink);
To
him, said one of these, with jeering air,
Good
mister Oudinet, a strange affair
Is
in my head: you’ve doubtless often made
Variety
of contracts; ’tis your trade:
Now,
cannot you contrive, by one of these,
That
men should barter wives, like goods, at ease?
Our
pastor oft his benefice has changed;
Is
trucking wives less easily arranged?
It
cannot be, for well I recollect,
That
Parson Gregory (whom none suspect)
Would
always say, or much my mem’ry fails,
My
flock ’s my wife: love equally prevails;
He
changed; let us, good neighbour do the same;
With
all my heart, said t’other, that’s my aim;
But
well thou know’st that mine’s the fairest
face,
And,
Mister Oudinet, since that’s the case,
Should
he not add, at least, his mule to boot?
My
mule? rejoined the first, that will not suit;
In
this world ev’ry thing has got its price:
Mine
I will change for thine and that ’s concise.
Wives
are not viewed so near; naught will I add;
Why,
neighbour Stephen, dost thou think me mad,
To
give my mule to boot?—of mules the king;
Not
e’en an ass I’d to the bargain bring;
Change
wife for wife, the barter will be fair;
Then
each will act with t’other on the square.
Thevillage lawyer now the friends addressed:
Said
he, Antoinetta is confessed
To
have superior charms to those of Jane;
But
still, if I may venture to be plain,
Not
always is the best what meets the eye,
For
many beauties in concealment lie,
Which
I prefer; and these are hid with care;
Deceptions,
too, are practised by the fair;
Howe’er,
we wish the whole to be disclosed,
Too
much, ’tis said, they must not be exposed.
Now,
neighbours, let us fair arrangement make:
A
pig in poke you’d neither give nor take;
Confront
these halves in nature’s birth-day suit;
To
neither, then, will you deceit impute.
The
project was most thoroughly approved;
Like
inclination both the husbands moved.
Antoinetta,
said the second spouse,
Has
neither ill nor scratch her fears to rouse.
Jane,
cried the first, is ev’ry way complete;
No
freckles on the skin: as balm she’s sweet:
Antoinetta
is, her spouse replied,
Ambrosia
ev’ry way: no fault to hide.
Saidt’other:—Don’t so confident
appear;
Thou
know’st not Jane: her ways would marble
cheer;
And
there’s a play:—thou understand’st
no doubt?
To
this rejoined the second village lout,
One
diff’rence only have my wife and I:
Which
plays the prettiest wiles is what we try;
Thou’lt
very soon of these know how to think;
Here’s
to thee, neighbour; Mister Oud’net, drink;
Come,
toast Antoinetta; likewise Jane;
The
mule was granted, and the bargain plain:
Our
village lawyer promised to prepare,
At
once, the writings, which would all declare.
This
Oudinet a good apostle proved
Well
paid for parchment, or he never moved:
By
whom was payment made?—by both the dames;
On
neither husband showed he any claims.
Thevillage clowns some little time supposed
That
all was secret: not a hint disclosed;
The
parson of it, howsoe’er, obtained
Some
intimation, and his off’rings gained.
I
was not present, fully I admit;
But
rarely clergymen their dues will quit.
The
very clerk would not remit his fee:—
All
those who serve the church in this agree.
Thepermutation could not well be made,
But
scandal would such practices upbraid;
In
country villages each step is seen;
Thus,
round the whisper went of what had been,
And
placed at length the thorn where all was ease;
Forone good month the whole proceeded well;
But,
at the end, disgust dispersed the spell;
And
neighbour Stephen, as we might suppose,
Began
dissatisfaction to disclose;
Lamented
much Antoinetta’s stop;
No
doubt he was a loser by the swop;
Yet
neighbour Giles expressed extreme regret,
That
t’other from him ought to boot should get:
Howe’er,
he would retrucking not consent,
So
much he otherwise appeared content.
Ithappened on a day, as Stephen strayed
Within
a wood, he saw, beneath a shade,
And
near the stream, asleep, and quite alone,
Antoinetta,
whom he wished his own.
He
near her drew, and waked her with surprise;
The
change ne’er struck her when she ope’d
her eyes;
The
gay gallant advantage quickly took,
And,
what he wished, soon placed within his hook.
’Tis
said, he found her better than at first;
Why
so? you ask: was she then at the worst?
A
curious question, truly, you’ve designed;
In
Cupid’s am’rous code of laws you’ll
find—
Bread
got by stealth, and eat where none can spy,
Is
better far than what you bake or buy;
For
proof of this, ask those most learn’d in love
Truth
we prefer, all other things above;
Yet
Hymen, and the god of soft desire,
How
much soe’er their union we admire,
Are
not designed together bread to bake;
In
proof, the sleeping scene for instance take.
Good
cheer was there: each dish was served with taste;
The
god of love, who often cooks in haste,
Most
nicely seasoned things to relish well;
In
this he’s thought old Hymen to excel.
Antoinetta,
to his clasp restored,
Our
neighbour Stephen, who his wife adored,
Quite
raw, howe’er, in this, exclaimed apart
Friend
Giles has surely got some secret art,
For
now my rib displays superior charms,
To
what she had, before she left my arms.
Let’s
take her back, and play the Norman trick
Deny
the whole, and by our priv’lege stick.
Immediatelyhe ev’ry effort tried,
To
get the bargain fully set aside.
Giles,
much distressed, exerted all his might,
To
keep his prize, and prove his conduct right.
The
cause was carried to the bishop’s court;
Much
noise it made, according to report.
At
length the parliament would hear the claim,
And
judge a case of such peculiar fame.
Thevillage lawyer, Oudinet, was brought;
From
him, who drew the contract, truth was sought;
There
rests the cause, for ’tis of recent date;
While
undecided, more we cannot state.
Howsilly neighbour Stephen must appear!
He
went against his int’rest now ’tis clear;
For,
when superior pleasure he was shown,
The
fascinating fair was not his own.
Good
sense would whisper then, ’twere full as well,
To
let remain with Giles the beauteous belle;
Save
now and then, within the leafy shade,
Where
oft Antoinetta visits made,
And
warbled to the shrubs and trees around;
There
he might easily the nymph have found,
But,
if with ease it could not be obtained,
Still
greater pleasure he would then have gained.
Gopreach me this to silly country louts;
These,
howsoe’er, had managed well their bouts,
It
must not be denied, and all was nice;
To
do the like perhaps ’twill some entice.
I
much regret my lot was not the same,
Though
doubtless many will my wishes blame.
Her doll, for thought, was just as well designed
How could he give what he had never got?
In country villages each step is seen
*** End of the project gutenberg Ebook tales and novels of Fontaine, V17 ***
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