Indiscretions of Archie eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 290 pages of information about Indiscretions of Archie.

“I do mean that.”

“But where is he to go?”


“But you don’t understand.  This chappie has lost his memory because he was wounded in the war.  Keep that fact firmly fixed in the old bean.  He fought for you.  Fought and bled for you.  Bled profusely, by Jove.  And he saved my life!”

“If I’d got nothing else against him, that would be enough.”

“But you can’t sling a chappie out into the cold hard world who bled in gallons to make the world safe for the Hotel Cosmopolis.”

Mr. Brewster looked ostentatiously at his watch.

“Two seconds!” he said.

There was a silence.  Archie appeared to be thinking.  “Right-o!” he said at last.  “No need to get the wind up.  I know where he can go.  It’s just occurred to me I’ll put him up at my little shop.”

The purple ebbed from Mr. Brewster’s face.  Such was his emotion that he had forgotten that infernal shop.  He sat down.  There was more silence.

“Oh, gosh!” said Mr. Brewster.

“I knew you would be reasonable about it,” said Archie, approvingly.  “Now, honestly, as man to man, how do we go?”

“What do you want me to do?” growled Mr. Brewster.

“I thought you might put the chappie up for a while, and give him a chance to look round and nose about a bit”

“I absolutely refuse to give any more loafers free board and lodging.”

“Any more?”

“Well, he would be the second, wouldn’t he?”

Archie looked pained.

“It’s true,” he said, “that when I first came here I was temporarily resting, so to speak; but didn’t I go right out and grab the managership of your new hotel?  Positively!”

“I will not adopt this tramp.”

“Well, find him a job, then.”

“What sort of a job?”

“Oh, any old sort”

“He can be a waiter if he likes.”

“All right; I’ll put the matter before him.”

He returned to the bedroom.  The Sausage Chappie was gazing fondly into the mirror with a spotted tie draped round his neck.

“I say, old top,” said Archie, apologetically, “the Emperor of the Blighters out yonder says you can have a job here as waiter, and he won’t do another dashed thing for you.  How about it?”

“Do waiters eat?”

“I suppose so.  Though, by Jove, come to think of it, I’ve never seen one at it.”

“That’s good enough for me!” said the Sausage Chappie.  “When do I begin?”



The advantage of having plenty of time on one’s hands is that one has leisure to attend to the affairs of all one’s circle of friends; and Archie, assiduously as he watched over the destinies of the Sausage Chappie, did not neglect the romantic needs of his brother-in-law Bill.  A few days later, Lucille, returning one morning to their mutual suite, found her husband seated in an upright chair at the table, an unusually stern expression on his amiable face.  A large cigar was in the corner of his mouth.  The fingers of one hand rested in the armhole of his waistcoat:  with the other hand he tapped menacingly on the table.

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Indiscretions of Archie from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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