“Eggs for Lincoln hospital. 
    Col. ——­ Lays A false rumour.”—­Lincoln Leader.

***

    “PULLETS, laying 3s. 6d. each.”—­Provincial Paper.

Yet farmers persist in telling us there’s no money in fowls.

***

    “The first description of how the German Fleet reached Rome after the
    battle of Jutland is furnished by a neutral from Kiel.”—­Johannesburg
    Daily Mail.

Of all the roads that lead to Rome this is certainly the roughest.

***

The New Greeting:  “Comment vous Devonportez-vous?”

* * * * *

TO GERMANIA

From somebody who ought to be in prison.

Air—­“To Althaea from Prison.”

  When Peace with wide and shining wings
    Invades this warring isle,
  And my beloved Germania brings
    Wearing her largest smile;
  When close about her waist I coil
    And mouth to mouth apply,
  Not Snowden, patriot son of toil,
    Will be more pleased than I.

  When round the No-Conscription board
    The wines of Rhineland flow,
  And many a rousing Hoch! is roared
    To toast the status quo;
  When o’er the swiftly-circling bowl
    Our happy tears run dry,
  Not PONSONBY, that loyal soul,
    Will be more pleased than I.

  When sausages and sauerkraut
    Fulfil the air with spice,
  And loosened tongues the praise shall shout
    Of Peace-at-any-price;
  When German weeds our lips employ
    And hearts are full and high,
  Not CHARLES TREVELYAN, blind with joy,
    Will be more pleased than I.

  Stone walls do not my feet confine
    Nor yet a barbed-wire cage;
  I talk at large and claim as mine
    The freeman’s heritage;
  And, if this wicked War but end
    Ere German hopes can die,
  Not WILLIAM’S self, my dearest friend,
    Will be more pleased than I.

O.S.

* * * * *

THE BROKEN SOLDIERS.

“Now,” I suggested as we left the drapery department, “you’ve got as much as you can carry.”  Unfortunately it was impossible to relieve her of the parcels as I had all my work cut out to manipulate those confounded crutches.

“There’s only the toy department,” returned Pamela, leading the way with her armful of packages.  “I do hope you’re not frightfully tired.”  Of course it seemed ridiculous, but I had not been out of hospital many days, and as yet I had not grown used to stumping about in this manner.

“Do you happen,” asked Pamela at the counter, “to have such a thing as a box of broken soldiers?”

The young woman looked astonished and even a little hurt, but offered, with condescension, to inquire.