Salutations dedicated educators and prospective graduates. It is magnificent to be here at the prestigious university of St. John Bosco, it has been my lifetime ambition to lecture here to the cream de la cream of the southern hemisphere's academic achievers. I myself was educated at Harvard University, mastering in Shakespearean literature with a degree in patronisation and verbosity. Oh, it's a positively honourable pleasure to be here in your knowledgeable presence!

A year ago I was unexpectedly approached by an over-enthusiastic, leprechaun-like student who asked me if King Lear was a tragic tale of redemption or a work whose final mood is one of pessimism. I answered her question with a singular word: `pessimism', only to later find out that she failed her English speech by taking heed to my...