The main theme throughout The Bonesetter's Daughter is the importance of communication in relationships, and how without communication, relationships suffer. Tan shows us this in several different ways, through: Mothers, daughters and spouses. She shows us how concealing our past, feelings and intentions lead to misinterpretations of actions and the weakening of relationships. Tan focuses mainly on mother daughter relationships, and how damaging miscommunication is to both mother and daughter and their relationship.

There are several mothers and daughters, who suffer though their uncommunicative relationships, throughout The Bonesetter's Daughter: Ruth and her mother LuLing's; Ruth and Art's kids; LuLing and Mother; and finally LuLing and Precious Auntie.

The most important and main relationship would have to be between Ruth and her mother, LuLing. LuLing always kept very strict rule over Ruth, and was very critical of everything she did. This wasn't because LuLing didn't trust Ruth or wasn't...