Student Essay on Garfield's "To Sleep or Not to Sleep"

Garfield's "To Sleep or Not to Sleep"

Essay

To sleep, or not to sleep - that is the question:
Whether `tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The infomercials of late night TV
Or to cuddle into a sea of blankets
And by ignoring end "1-800" numbers. To eat - to sleep -
Ah yes; and by sleep we say end
The noise and annoying infomercials
That late viewers are heir to. `Tis a vocation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To eat - to sleep
To sleep - perchance to dream: O but there's a problem
For in that sleep what dreams may come
When I have eaten 4 supreme pizzas,
Must give me heartburn. There's a motivation
To live for lasagna and cake in spite of
All I must bear while chasing the mailman
Nermal's visit's, the pizza parlor's closing,
The pangs of hunger in my tummy,
The drool of Odie, and the clowns
That neighbor dog's sharp teeth
Why must these things overwhelm
Me oh so much? Who would expect me this to bear,
To go without food for a dreaded five minutes,
But the thought that lasagna could become extinct
Oh the dreaded thought from which comes
Nightmares so puzzling and scary
And make me ill to think how life would be
Oh how would I bear that unknown"
That makes a coward of me
And thus so to clowns
In their sick bright costumes and happy thoughts,
And "entertaining" birthday parties and comedy moments,
With no regard to me at all. I must turn my head
And rid their names from my mind. - Who's there!
The tacky Jon! - Home from another failed date.
Did you my doggie bag remember"