The American hotel.  Meals at all hours. 
     The shades.  No smoking. 
     Boats for Hire cheap Union prayer meeting, 6 P.M. 
     Billiards.  The waterside journal. 
     The A1 Barber shop.  Telegraph office. 
     Keep off the grass.  Try BRANDRETH’S pills. 
     Cottages for rent during the watering season. 
     For Sale cheap.  For Sale cheap. 
     For Sale cheap.  For Sale cheap.

At first it seemed to the professor that this was a sign-language, and that each word was represented by a distinct sign; further examination convinced him that it was a written language, and that every letter of its alphabet was represented by a character of its own; and finally he decided that it was a language which conveyed itself partly by letters, and partly by signs or hieroglyphics.  This conclusion was forced upon him by the discovery of several specimens of the following nature: 

He observed that certain inscriptions were met with in greater frequency than others.  Such as “For Sale cheap”; “Billiards”; “S.  T.—­1860—­X”; “Keno”; “Ale on draught.”  Naturally, then, these must be religious maxims.  But this idea was cast aside by and by, as the mystery of the strange alphabet began to clear itself.  In time, the professor was enabled to translate several of the inscriptions with considerable plausibility, though not to the perfect satisfaction of all the scholars.  Still, he made constant and encouraging progress.

Finally a cavern was discovered with these inscriptions upon it: 

Watersidemuseum. 
Open at All Hours. 
Admission 50 cents. 
Wonderful collection of
Wax-works, ancient fossils,
etc.

Professor Woodlouse affirmed that the word “Museum” was equivalent to the phrase “lumgath molo,” or “Burial Place.”  Upon entering, the scientists were well astonished.  But what they saw may be best conveyed in the language of their own official report: 

“Erect, in a row, were a sort of rigid great figures which struck us instantly as belonging to the long extinct species of reptile called man, described in our ancient records.  This was a peculiarly gratifying discovery, because of late times it has become fashionable to regard this creature as a myth and a superstition, a work of the inventive imaginations of our remote ancestors.  But here, indeed, was Man, perfectly preserved, in a fossil