If you see a feller cant in religion, clap your hand into your pocket, and lay right hold of your puss, or he’ll steal it as sure as you’re alive; and if a man cant in politics, he’ll sell you if he gets a chance, you may depend.  Law and physic are jist the same, and every mite and morsel as bad.  If a lawyer takes to cantin, its like the fox preachin to the geese, he’ll eat up his whole congregation; and if a doctor takes to it, he’s a quack as sure as rates.  The Lord have massy on you, for he wont.  I’d sooner trust my chance with a naked hook any time, than one that’s half covered with bad bait.  The fish will sometimes swaller the one, without thinkin, but they get frightened at tother, turn tail and off like a shot.  Now, to change the tune, I’ll give the Blue Noses a new phrase.  They’ll have an election most likely next year, and then ’the dancin master will be abroad.’  A candidate is a most particular polite man, a noddin here, and a bowin there, and a shakin hands all round.  Nothin improves a man’s manners like an election.  ‘The dancin master’s abroad then;’ nothin gives the paces equal to that, it makes them as squirmy as an eel, they cross hands and back agin, set to their partners and right and left in great style, and slick it off at the eend, with a real complete bow, and a smile for all the world as sweet as a cat makes at a pan of new milk.  Then they get as full of compliments as a dog is full of fleas—­enquirin how the old lady is to home, and the little boy that made such a wonderful smart answer, they never can forget it till next time; a praisin a man’s farm to the nines, and a tellin of him, how scandalous the road that leads to his location has been neglected, and how much he wants to find a real complete hand that can build a bridge over his brook, and axin him if he ever built one.  When he gets the hook baited with the right fly, and the simple critter begins to jump out of water arter it, all mouth and gills, he winds up the reel, and takes leave, a thinkin to himself ’now you see what’s to the eend of my line, I guess I’ll know where to find you when I want you.’

There’s no sort of fishin requires so much practice as this.  When bait is scarce one worm must answer for several fish.  A handful of oats in a pan, arter it brings one horse up in a pastur for the bridle, serves for another, a shakin of it, is better than a givin of it, it saves the grain for another time.  It’s a poor business arter all is electioneering, and when ’the Dancin Master is abroad,’ he’s as apt to teach a man to cut capers and get larfed at as any thing else.  It tante every one that’s soople enough to dance real complete.  Politicks take a great deal of time, and grinds away a man’s honesty near about as fast as cleaning a knife with brick dust, ’it takes its steel out.’  What does a critter get arter all for it in this country, why nothin but expense and disappointment.  As King Solomon says, (and that are man was up to a thing or two, you may depend, tho’ our professor did say he warn’t so knowin as Uncle Sam,) it’s all vanity and vexation of spirit.