Not that it Matters eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 181 pages of information about Not that it Matters.

Not that it Matters eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 181 pages of information about Not that it Matters.

It is well that the commonest fruit should be also the best.  Of the virtues of the orange I have not room fully to speak.  It has properties of health-giving, as that it cures influenza and establishes the complexion.  It is clean, for whoever handles it on its way to your table but handles its outer covering, its top coat, which is left in the hall.  It is round, and forms an excellent substitute with the young for a cricket ball.  The pips can be flicked at your enemies, and quite a small piece of peel makes a slide for an old gentleman.

But all this would count nothing had not the orange such delightful qualities of taste.  I dare not let myself go upon this subject.  I am a slave to its sweetness.  I grudge every marriage in that it means a fresh supply of orange blossom, the promise of so much golden fruit cut short.  However, the world must go on.

Next to the orange I place the cherry.  The cherry is a companionable fruit.  You can eat it while you are reading or talking, and you can go on and on, absent-mindedly as it were, though you must mind not to swallow the stone.  The trouble of disengaging this from the fruit is just sufficient to make the fruit taste sweeter for the labour.  The stalk keeps you from soiling your fingers; it enables you also to play bob cherry.  Lastly, it is by means of cherries that one penetrates the great mysteries of life—­when and whom you will marry, and whether she really loves you or is taking you for your worldly prospects. (I may add here that I know a girl who can tie a knot in the stalk of a cherry with her tongue.  It is a tricky business, and I am doubtful whether to add it to the virtues of the cherry or not.)

There are only two ways of eating strawberries.  One is neat in the strawberry bed, and the other is mashed on the plate.  The first method generally requires us to take up a bent position under a net—­in a hot sun very uncomfortable, and at any time fatal to the hair.  The second method takes us into the privacy of the home, for it demands a dressing-gown and no spectators.  For these reasons I think the strawberry an overrated fruit.  Yet I must say that I like to see one floating in cider cup.  It gives a note of richness to the affair, and excuses any shortcomings in the lunch itself.

Raspberries are a good fruit gone wrong.  A raspberry by itself might indeed be the best fruit of all; but it is almost impossible to find it alone.  I do not refer to its attachment to the red currant; rather to the attachment to it of so many of our dumb little friends.  The instinct of the lower creatures for the best is well shown in the case of the raspberry.  If it is to be eaten it must be picked by the hand, well shaken, and then taken.

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Not that it Matters from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.