Life's Handicap eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 405 pages of information about Life's Handicap.

Life's Handicap eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 405 pages of information about Life's Handicap.

‘But Judy dhragged her off cryin’ as tho’ her heart wud break.  An’ Dinah Shadd an’ I, in ten minutes we had forgot ut all.’

‘Then why do you remember it now?’ said I.

’Is ut like I’d forget?  Ivry word that wicked ould woman spoke fell thrue in my life aftherwards, an’ I cud ha’ stud ut all—­stud ut all—­ excipt when my little Shadd was born.  That was on the line av march three months afther the regiment was taken with cholera.  We were betune Umballa an’ Kalka thin, an’ I was on picket.  Whin I came off duty the women showed me the child, an’ ut turned on uts side an’ died as I looked.  We buried him by the road, an’ Father Victor was a day’s march behind wid the heavy baggage, so the comp’ny captain read a prayer.  An’ since then I’ve been a childless man, an’ all else that ould Mother Sheehy put upon me an’ Dinah Shadd.  What do you think, sorr?’

I thought a good deal, but it seemed better then to reach out for Mulvaney’s hand.  The demonstration nearly cost me the use of three fingers.  Whatever he knows of his weaknesses, Mulvaney is entirely ignorant of his strength.

‘But what do you think?’ he repeated, as I was straightening out the crushed fingers.

My reply was drowned in yells and outcries from the next fire, where ten men were shouting for ‘Orth’ris,’ ‘Privit Orth’ris,’ ’Mistah Or—­ther—­ ris!’ ‘Deah boy,’ ‘Cap’n Orth’ris,’ ‘Field-Marshal Orth’ris,’ ’Stanley, you pen’north o’ pop, come ‘ere to your own comp’ny!’ And the cockney, who had been delighting another audience with recondite and Rabelaisian yarns, was shot down among his admirers by the major force.

’You’ve crumpled my dress-shirt ‘orrid,’ said he, ‘an’ I shan’t sing no more to this ‘ere bloomin’ drawin’-room.’

Learoyd, roused by the confusion, uncoiled himself, crept behind Ortheris, and slung him aloft on his shoulders.

‘Sing, ye bloomin’ hummin’ bird!’ said he, and Ortheris, beating time on Learoyd’s skull, delivered himself, in the raucous voice of the Ratcliffe Highway, of this song:—­

    My girl she give me the go onst,
      When I was a London lad,
    An’ I went on the drink for a fortnight,
      An’ then I went to the bad. 
    The Queen she give me a shillin’
      To fight for ’er over the seas;
    But Guv’ment built me a fever-trap,
      An’ Injia give me disease.

Chorus.

    Ho! don’t you ’eed what a girl says,
      An’ don’t you go for the beer;
    But I was an ass when I was at grass,
      An’ that is why I’m ’ere.

   I fired a shot at a Afghan,
      The beggar ’e fired again,
    An’ I lay on my bed with a ’ole in my ’ed;
      An’ missed the next campaign! 
    I up with my gun at a Burman
      Who carried a bloomin’ dah,
    But the cartridge stuck and the bay’nit bruk,
      An’ all I got was the scar.

Chorus.

    Ho! don’t you aim at a Afghan
       When you stand on the sky-line clear;
    An’ don’t you go for a Burman
      If none o’ your friends is near.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Life's Handicap from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.