Autobiography eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 534 pages of information about Autobiography.

Autobiography eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 534 pages of information about Autobiography.
not do any wrong to those who have behaved well and kindly to me.”  He did not let me finish, but exclaimed, with some agitation, “Yes, they will be found out.  These villains met in three houses. (He named the streets, he pointed out the houses, and, unfortunately, among them was the one I used to frequent.) The first nest is already broken up, and at this moment so are the two others.  In a few hours the whole will be clear.  Avoid, by a frank confession, a judicial inquiry, a confrontation, and all other disagreeable matters.”  The house was known and marked.  Now I deemed silence useless; nay, considering the innocence of our meetings, I could hope to be still more useful to them than to myself.  “Sit down!” I exclaimed, fetching him back from the door:  “I will tell all, and at once lighten your heart and mine; only one thing I ask,—­henceforth let there be no doubt of my veracity.”

I soon told my friend the whole progress of the affair, and was at first calm and collected; but the more I brought to mind and pictured to myself the persons, objects, and events, so many innocent pleasures and charming enjoyments, and was forced to depose as before a criminal court, the more did the most painful feeling increase, so that at last I burst forth in tears, and gave myself up to unrestrained passion.  The family friend, who hoped that now the real secret was coming to light (for he regarded my distress as a symptom that I was on the point of confessing with repugnance something monstrous), sought to pacify me; as with him the discovery was the all-important matter.  In this he only partly succeeded; but so far, however, that I could eke out my story to the end.  Though satisfied of the innocence of the proceedings, he was still doubtful to some extent, and put further questions to me, which excited me afresh, and transported me with pain and rage.  I asserted, finally, that I had nothing more to say, and well knew that I need fear nothing, for I was innocent, of a good family, and well reputed; but that they might be just as guiltless without having it recognized, or being otherwise favored.  I declared at the same time, that if they were not spared like myself, that if their follies were not regarded with indulgence, and their faults pardoned, that if any thing in the least harsh or unjust happened to them, I would do some violence to myself, and no one should prevent me.  In this, too, my friend tried to pacify me; but I did not trust him, and was, when he quitted me at last, in a most terrible state.  I now reproached myself for having told the affair, and brought all the positions to light.  I foresaw that our childlike actions, our youthful inclinations and confidences, would be quite differently interpreted, and that I might perhaps involve the excellent Pylades in the matter, and render him very unhappy.  All these images pressed vividly one after the other before my soul, sharpened and spurred my distress, so that I did not know what to do for sorrow.  I cast myself at full length upon the floor, and moistened it with my tears.

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Autobiography from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.