“What advantage,” reply’d Lycas, “cou’d they propose to themselves by the loss of their hair? unless they thought baldness might sooner raise our compassion:  Or can you believe I wou’d be satisfy’d in your relation? when addressing himself to me, What poyson, said he, thou villain, has eat your hair off?  To what god have your sacrilegious hands offer’d it?”

The fear of punishment struck me speechless; nor cou’d I find any thing to urge in my defence against so plain an accusation.  Then the confusion I was in, my disfigur’d face, with the equal baldness of my head and eye-brows, gave a ridiculous air to everything I said or did; but when they wip’d us with a wet spunge, the letters melting into one, spread o’er our faces such a sooty cloud that turn’d Lycas’s rage to a perfect loathing.  Eumolpus cou’d not endure to see free-born men against all law and justice so abus’d, and returning their threats with blows, not only was our advocate but champion too.  He was seconded by his man, and two or three sick passengers appear’d our friends, that serv’d rather to encourage us, than encrease our force.

Upon which I was so far from begging pardon, that without any respect I held my fists at Tryphoena, and plainly told her she shou’d feel me, if her lecherous ladiship, who only in the ship deserv’d to be punisht, was not content to decline her pretentions to Gito.

The angry Lycas was all rage at my impudence; and very impatient of revenge when he found, without any concern for my own cause, I stood up for another’s.

Nor was Tryphoena less disturb’d at my contempt of her; at what time every one in the vessel choose his side and put himself in a posture of defence.

On our side Eumolpus’s slave distributed the instruments of his trade, and reserv’d a razor to defend his own person; on the other, Tryphoena and her attendants advanc’d, armed with nothing but their nails and tongues; which last supply’d the want of drums in their army; when the pilot, crying out, threaten’d he wou’d leave the ship to the mercy of the waves if they continued the bustle rais’d about the lust of two or three vagabonds.

This did not in the least retard the fight; they pressing for revenge, we for our lives:  in short, many fell half dead on both sides; others withdrew, as from greater armies, to be drest of their wounds; yet this damps not the rage of either side.

Then the bold Gito, drawing out that part of him Tryphoena most admired, clapt a bloody razor to’t, and threaten’d to cut away the cause of all our misfortunes, but Tryphoena did not faintly send to prevent so cruel an act:  I often offer’d at my throat too, but with as little design to kill my self as Gito to do what he threaten’d:  he the more boldly handl’d his because he knew it to be the same blunt razor he had us’d before; which made Tryphoena very apprehensive of his tragic intentions.

Upon this, both sides drew up their ranks, when the pilot perceiving how commical a war it was, with much ado was perswaded to let Tryphoena dispatch an herald to capitulate:  Articles immediately according to the custom of countries being mutually agreed off on both sides; Tryphoena snatcht an olive-branch, the ensign of peace, that stuck to the image of prosperity pictur’d in the ship, and holding it in the midst of us, thus addrest her self.