Upon which, having snatch’d a rasor from Eumolpus’s servant, he struck three or four times ’t his throat, and fell down before us:  frightened at the accident, I cry’d out, and falling upon him e’re he had reached the ground, with the same weapon, endeavoured to follow him:  But neither had Gito any appearance of a wound, nor did I feel my self hurt:  For it happen’d to be a dull rasor, design’dly made so, to prepare learners of the art to handle a sharper which was the reason Eumolpus did not offer to prevent our mimick deaths, nor his man look concern’d when the rasor was snatch’d from him.

While this scene was acting, the inn-keeper came in upon us, with the other part of our supper; and viewing the obscene posture we were in, “I beseech you, sirs,” said he, “are ye drunk, or have fled justice, and are acting it on your selves, or both? ho! who was going to make a gibet of the bed?  What private designs are here on foot?  What—­was your going out but now with intent to bilke me?  But you shall feel fo’t:  I’ll soon make ye know who rules here.”

“What, you rascal,” crys Eumolpus, “do you threat too?” And without more ado flung his fist in his face:  The inn-keeper took up an earthen pitcher we so oft had empty’d, and sending it at Eumolpus, broke his forehead, and immediately ran down stairs:  Eumolpus, impatient of revenge, snatching up a great wooden candlestick, made after him; and pouring his blows very thick on the inn-keeper, repair’d the injury with interest:  This alarm’d the whole house, and whilst the rest of his guess, that by this time were most of ’em drunk; ran to see what was the matter, taking an opportunity to revenge the injury Eumolpus had offer’d me, I lock’d him out; and turning thus his trick upon himself, at once, enjoy’d the bed and board without a rival.

In the mean time, the islanders (that came in at the bustle) and cooks with all their kitchin artillery set upon Eumolpus:  One throws at his head a hot spit with the meat on’t; another with a pitchfork puts himself in a martial posture against him; but especially a blear-ey’d old woman, who tucking up the dirty apron she had about her, with one shoe on, and another off, hall’d a great mastiff and set him at Eumolpus:  But with the wooden candlestick he defended himself against all his enemies.

We saw all through a hole they had made by wrenching the latch from the door:  I wish’d him well you may imagine; but Gito had compassion and wou’d have succour’d the distrest Eumolpus; upon which, my rage continuing, I gave his pitying head two or three blows with my fist; he sate down on the bed and cry’d:  but I so eagerly ply’d the hole, I made my eyes relieve each other; and, encouraging the people against him, with great satisfaction beheld the conflict:  when the bailiff of the island, one Bargates, whom the scuffle had rais’d from supper; was brought into the room, supported by others legs, for he was troubl’d with the