Mrs George [sitting down] And so will my husband the coal merchant.

Hotchkiss.  If I were your husband’s superior here I should be his superior in heaven or hell:  equality lies deeper than that.  The coal merchant and I are in love with the same woman.  That settles the question for me for ever. [He prowls across the kitchen to the garden door, deep in thought].

Soames.  Psha!

Mrs George.  You dont believe in women, do you, Anthony?  He might as well say that he and George both like fried fish.

Hotchkiss.  I do not like fried fish.  Dont be low, Polly.

Soames.  Woman:  do not presume to accuse me of unbelief.  And do you, Hotchkiss, not despise this woman’s soul because she speaks of fried fish.  Some of the victims of the Miraculous Draught of Fishes were fried.  And I eat fried fish every Friday and like it.  You are as ingrained a snob as ever.

Hotchkiss [impatiently] My dear Anthony:  I find you merely ridiculous as a preacher, because you keep referring me to places and documents and alleged occurrences in which, as a matter of fact, I dont believe.  I dont believe in anything but my own will and my own pride and honor.  Your fishes and your catechisms and all the rest of it make a charming poem which you call your faith.  It fits you to perfection; but it doesnt fit me.  I happen, like Napoleon, to prefer Mohammedanism. [Mrs George, associating Mohammedanism with polygamy, looks at him with quick suspicion].  I believe the whole British Empire will adopt a reformed Mohammedanism before the end of the century.  The character of Mahomet is congenial to me.  I admire him, and share his views of life to a considerable extent.  That beats you, you see, Soames.  Religion is a great force—­the only real motive force in the world; but what you fellows dont understand is that you must get at a man through his own religion and not through yours.  Instead of facing that fact, you persist in trying to convert all men to your own little sect, so that you can use it against them afterwards.  You are all missionaries and proselytizers trying to uproot the native religion from your neighbor’s flowerbeds and plant your own in its place.  You would rather let a child perish in ignorance than have it taught by a rival sectary.  You can talk to me of the quintessential equality of coal merchants and British officers; and yet you cant see the quintessential equality of all the religions.  Who are you, anyhow, that you should know better than Mahomet or Confucius or any of the other Johnnies who have been on this job since the world existed?

Mrs George [admiring his eloquence] George will like you, Sonny.  You should hear him talking about the Church.

Soames.  Very well, then:  go to your doom, both of you.  There is only one religion for me:  that which my soul knows to be true; but even irreligion has one tenet; and that is the sacredness of marriage.  You two are on the verge of deadly sin.  Do you deny that?