Project Gutenberg Complete Works of Winston Churchill eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 6,366 pages of information about Project Gutenberg Complete Works of Winston Churchill.

Project Gutenberg Complete Works of Winston Churchill eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 6,366 pages of information about Project Gutenberg Complete Works of Winston Churchill.

Faith in an unseen order!  As he walked, his mind returned to the argument by which he had sought to combat her doubts—­and his own.  Whence had the argument come?  It was new to him—­he had never formulated it before—­that pity and longing and striving were a justification and a proof.  Had she herself inspired, by some unknown psychological law, this first attempt of his to reform the universe, this theory which he had rather spoken than thought?  Or had it been the knowledge of her own longing, and his desire to assuage it?  As twilight fell, as his spirits ebbed, he could not apply it now—­it meant nothing to him, evaded him, there was in it no solace.  To regain his footing once more, to climb again without this woman whom he needed, and might not have!  Better to fall, to be engulfed. . .  The vision of her, tall and straight, with the roses on her breast, tortured him.

Thus ecstasy ebbed to despondency.  He looked around him in the fading day, to find himself opposite the closed gates of the Botanical Gardens, in the southwestern portion of the city . . . .  An hour later he had made his way back to Dalton Street with its sputtering blue lights and gliding figures, and paused for a moment on the far sidewalk to gaze at Mr. Bentley’s gleaming windows.  Should he go in?  Had that personality suddenly lost its power over him?  How strange that now he could see nothing glowing, nothing inspiring within that house,—­only a kindly old man reading a newspaper!

He walked on, slowly, to feel stealing on him that desperate longing for adventure which he had known so well in his younger days.  And he did not resist.  The terror with which it had once inspired him was gone, or lingered only in the form of a delicious sense of uncertainty and anticipation.  Anything might happen to him—­anything would be grateful; the thought of his study in the parish house was unbearable; the Dalton Street which had mocked and repelled him suddenly became alluring with its champaigns of light and inviting stretches of darkness.  In the block ahead, rising out of the night like a tower blazing with a hundred beacons, Hodder saw a hotel, heard the faint yet eager throbbing of music, beheld silhouetted figures flitting from automobiles and carriages across the white glare of the pavement,—­figures of men and women.

He hastened his steps, the music grew louder and louder in his ears, he gained the ornamental posts crowned by their incandescent globes, made his way through the loiterers, descended the stone steps of the restaurant, and stood staring into it as at a blurred picture.  The band crashed a popular two-step above the mingled voices and laughter.  He sat down at a vacant table near the door, and presently became aware that a waiter had been for some time at his elbow.

“What will you have, sir?”

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Project Gutenberg Complete Works of Winston Churchill from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.