Writing for Vaudeville eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 543 pages of information about Writing for Vaudeville.

Writing for Vaudeville eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 543 pages of information about Writing for Vaudeville.

MAYNARD:  A great idea—­and we’ll put it into execution at once.

(A PICKANINNY NUMBER BY THE GIRLS LED BY VIOLA.  When the pickaninny number is over, “Old Black Joe.”  ENTIRE COMPANY DRESSES THE STAGE and forms itself into picturesque groupings.  Selections by a colored quartette can also be appropriately introduced.)

(Song, “Old Black Joe,” by OLD BLACK JOE, company joining in the chorus.)

JOE:  Bless me, am I dreaming, or do I see once more de old plantation?

MAYNARD:  (Cordially.) The very same, Joe, the very same.

JOE:  Why, it seems, Massa, as if a heavy load is lifting from mah mind and de memory of things dat I’se forgotten dese fifty years am coming back to me.

VIOLA:  Three cheers for Old Black Joe! (Entire company gives cheers.)

MAYNARD:  And now, ladies and gentlemen, on the occasion of my birthday, I also have the honor to announce that Mrs. Wilson has this day consented to become my wife.

(MRS. WILSON steps forward from house and bows to assembled guests in a triumphant way, the guests coldly return her bow.)

(EDGAR TREMBLE enters from Centre.)

MAYNARD:  What can I do for you, Mr. Tremble?

TREMBLE:  Just one thing, and that is to give me the money you owe me.  The mortgage I hold on your plantation for $50,000 is due today and, unless you hand over the money right away, I’ll turn you out bag and baggage.

MAYNARD:  (Pleadingly.) Won’t you give me a few days longer to try and raise the money?

TREMBLE:  Not a day, not an hour.  I must have the money at once or out you go.

MAYNARD:  (Wringing his hands.) I am a ruined man! (Turning to MRS. WILSON.) But at least I will have the consolation of a true and loving companion. (MAYNARD reaches out for her hand, but she draws it away.) Why, what does this mean, Alice?

MRS. WILSON:  I fear, Mr. Maynard, that I was never cut out to be a poor man’s wife, so I ask you to release me from my engagement.  (Walks off stage at Right accompanied by the hisses of the guests.)

TREMBLE:  (To MAYNARD.) As you evidently haven’t got the $50,000 to pay the mortgage, the plantation becomes mine and I now order you all off the premises.

OLD BLACK JOE:  Not so fast.

TREMBLE:  (To Joe.) What do you mean by butting in, you black devil? 
(Sarcastically.) Perhaps you’ve got the $50,000 to pay the mortgage?

OLD BLACK JOE:  No, sah, ain’t got no money, but somethin’ in mah memory tells me dat I know where some money is hidden.

MAYNARD:  (In surprise.) Why, what do you mean, Old Black Joe?

VIOLA:  Yes, explain yourself.

OLD BLACK JOE:  Well, sah, jes’ after de War broke out your father went and hid $50,000 where de Union soldiers couldn’t find it.

MAYNARD:  (Imploringly.) Can’t you remember where the money was hid, Joe?

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Writing for Vaudeville from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.