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Table of Contents | |
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Start of eBook | 1 |
KING CANDAULES AND THE DOCTOR OF LAWS | 1 |
Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) | 8 |
(Three Pages) | 9 |
In life oft ills from self-imprudence spring;
As proof, Candaules’ story we will bring;
In folly’s scenes the king was truly great:
His vassal, Gyges, had from him a bait,
The like in gallantry was rarely known,
And want of prudence never more was shown.
My friend, said he, you frequently have seen
The beauteous face and features of the queen;
But these are naught, believe me, to the rest,
Which solely can be viewed when quite undressed.
Some day I’ll let you gratify your eyes;
Without her knowledge I’ll means devise;
But on condition:—you’ll remember well
What you behold, to no one you will tell,
In ev’ry step most cautiously proceed,
And not your mind with silly wishes feed;
No sort of pleasure surely I could take,
To see vain passion you her lover make.
You must propose, this charming form to view,
As if mere marble, though to nature true;
And I’m convinced you’ll readily declare,
Beyond nor art can reach, nor thought prepare;
Just now I left her in the bath at ease:
A judge you are, and shall the moment seize;
Come, witness my felicity supreme;
You know her beauties are my constant theme.
Awaythey went, and Gyges much admired;
Still
more than that: in truth his breast was fired;
For
when she moved astonishment was great,
And
ev’ry grace upon her seemed to wait.
Emotion
to suppress howe’er he tried,
Since
he had promised what he felt to hide;
To
hold his tongue he wished, but that might raise
Suspicions
of designs and mystick ways.
Exaggeration
was the better part,
And
from the subject he would never start,
But
fully praised each beauty in detail,
Without
appearing any thing to veil.
Gods!
Gyges cried, how truly, king, you’re blessed;
The
skin how fair—how charming all the rest!
Thisam’rous conversation by the queen
Was
never heard, or she’d enraged have been;
In
ancient days of ignorance, we find,
The
sex, to show resentment, much inclined;
In
diff’rent light at present this appears,
And
fulsome praises ne’er offend their ears.
Ourarch observer struggled with his sighs
Those
feelings much increased, so fair the prize:
The
prince, in doubt, conducted him away;
But
in his heart a hundred arrows lay;
Each
magick charm directed pointed darts;
To
flee were useless: Love such pain imparts,
That
nothing can at times obstruct its course;
So
quick the flight: so truly great the force.
Whilenear the king, much caution Gyges showed;
But
soon the belle perceived his bosom glowed;
She
learned the cause:—her spouse the tale disclosed,
And
laughed and jeered, as he the facts exposed:
A
silly blockhead! not to know a queen
Could
raillery not bear on such a scene.
But
had it pleased her wishes, still ’twere right
(Such
honour’s dictates) to discover spite;
And
this she truly did, while in her mind,
To
be revenged she fully was inclined.
Foronce, good reader, I should wish thee wife;
Or
otherwise, thou never can’st in life,
Conceive
the lengths a woman oft will go,
Whose
breast is filled with wrath and secret woe.
A
mortal was allowed these charms to view,
Which
others’ eyes could never dare pursue.
Such
treasures were for gods, or rather kings
The
privilege of both are beauteous things.
Thesethoughts induced the queen revenge to seek;
Rage
moved her breast, and shame possessed her cheek.
E’en
Cupid, we are told, assistance gave;
What
from his aim effectually can save?
Fair
in person was Gyges to behold;
Excuses
for her easy ’twere to mould;
To
show her charms, what baseness could excel?
And
on th’ exposer all her hatred fell.
Besides,
he was a husband, which is worse
With
these each sin receives a double curse.
What
more shall I detail?—the facts are plain:
Detested
was the king:—beloved the swain;
All
was accomplished, and the monarch placed
Among
the heroes who with horns are graced;
No
doubt a dignity not much desired,
Though
in repute, and easily acquired.
Suchmerit had the prince’s folly got,
‘In
petto’, Vulcan’s brother was his lot;
The
distance thence is little to the hat:
The
honour much the same of this or that.
Sofar ’twas passing well, but, in the intrigue;
The
cruel Parcae now appeared to league;
And
soon the lovers, on possession bent,
To
black Cocytus’ shores the monarch sent;
Too
much of certain potions forced to drink,
He
quickly viewed the dreary, horrid brink;
While
pleasing the objects Gyges’ eyes beheld;
And
in the palace presently he dwelled,
For,
whether love or rage the widow fired,
Her
throne and hand she gave, as was required.
T’
extend this tale was never my design;
Though
known full well, I do not now repine;
The
case so thoroughly my purpose served.
Ne’er
from the narrative the object swerved;
And
scarcely can I fancy, better light
The
doctor will afford to what I write.
The
scenes that follow I from Rome have drawn;
Not
Rome of old, ere manners had their dawn,
When
customs were unpleasant and severe
The
females, silly, and gallants in fear;
But
Rome of modern days, delightful spot!
Where
better tastes have into fashion got,
And
pleasure solely occupies the mind
To
rapture ev’ry bosom seems resigned.
A
tempting journey truly it appears,
For
youths from twenty on to thirty years.
Notlong ago, then, in the city dwelled,
A
master, who in teaching law excelled;
In
other matters he, howe’er, was thought
A
man that jollity and laughter sought.
He
criticised whatever passed around,
And
oft, at others’ cost, diversion found.
Ithappened that our learned doctor had,
Among
his many pupils (good and bad)
A
Frenchman, less designed to study laws,
Than,
in amours, perhaps, to gain applause.
One
day, observing him with clouded mien,
My
friend, said he, you surely have the spleen,
And,
out of college, nothing seem to do;
No
law books read:—some object I’d pursue;
A
handsome Frenchman should his hours improve;
Seek
soft intrigues, or as a lover move;
Talents
you have, and gay coquettes are here
Not
one, thank heav’n, but numbers oft appear.
The,
student answered, I am new at Rome,
And,
save the belles who sell their beauteous bloom,
I
can’t perceive, gallants much business find,
Each
house, like monasteries, is designed,
With
double doors, and bolts, and matrons sour,
And
husbands Argus-eyed, who’d you devour.
Where
can I go to follow up your plan,
And
hope, in spots like these, a flame to fan?
’Twere
not less difficult to reach the moon,
And
with my teeth I’d bite it just as soon.
Ha!
Ha! replied the doctor with delight,
The
honour which you do us is not slight;
I
pity men quite fresh and raw like you;
Our
town, I see, you’ve hardly travelled through,
You
fancy then, such wily snares are set,
’Tis
difficult intrigues in Rome to get.
I’d
have you know, we’ve creatures who devise,
To
horn their husbands under Argus’ eyes.
So
best, the spark replied, I like the deed;
And,
though no Gascon, I may boldly say;
Superior
prowess always I display.
Perhaps
’twas otherwise, for ev’ry wight;
In
this, to play the Gascon, thinks it right.
To
all the doctor’s words our youth adhered,
And
presently within a church appeared,
Where
daily came the choicest belles around,
And
loves and graces in their train were found,
Or,
if ’tis wished in modern phrase to speak,
Attention
num’rous angels there would seek.
Beneath
their veils were beauteous sparkling eyes;
The
holy-water scarcely would suffice.
Inlucky spot the spark his station took,
And
gave to each that passed a plaintive look;
To
some he bowed; to others seemed to pray,
And
holy water offered on their way.
One
angel ’mong the rest the boon received,
With
easy pleasing air, that much relieved;
On
which the student to himself expressed,
A
fond belief, with her he might be blessed.
Whenhome, an aged female to him came,
And
soon a meeting place he heard her name.
To
count particulars howe’er were vain
Their
pranks were many, and their folly plain;
The
belle was handsome; ev’ry bliss was sought,
And
all their moments most delightful thought.
He,
to the doctor, ev’ry matter told
Discretion
in a Frenchman would be cold;
’Tis
out of nature, and bespeaks the cit;
Smells
strong of shop, and would not fashion fit.
Thelearned teacher satisfaction showed,
That
such success from his instructions flowed,
Laughed
heartily at husbands, silly wights,
Who
had not wit to guard connubial rights,
And
from their lamb the wily wolf to keep:
A
shepherd will o’erlook a hundred sheep,
While
foolish man’s unable to protect,
E’en
one where most he’d wish to be correct.
Howe’er,
this care he thought was somewhat hard,
But
not a thing impossible to guard;
And
if he had not got a hundred eyes,
Thank
heav’n, his wife, though cunning to devise,
He
could defy:—her thoughts so well he knew,
That
these intrigues she never would pursue.
You’ll,
ne’er believe, good reader, without shame,
The
doctor’s wife was she our annals name;
And
what’s still worse, so many things he asked,
Her
look, air, form, and secret charms unmasked,
That
ev’ry answer fully seemed to say,
’Twas
clearly she, who thus had gone astray.
One
circumstance the lawyer led to doubt:
Some
talents had the student pointed out,
Which
she had never to her husband shown,
And
this relief administered alone.
Thought
he, those manners not to her belong,
But
all the rest are indications strong,
And
prove the case; yet she at home is dull;
While
this appears to be a prattling trull,
And
pleasing in her conversation too;
In
other matters ’tis my wife we view,
Form,
face, complexion, features, eyes, and hair,
The
whole combined pronounces her the fair.
Atlength, when to himself the sage had said
’Tis
she; and then, ’tis not;—his senses
led
To
make him in the first opinion rest,
You
well may guess what rage was in his breast.
A
second meeting you have fixed? cried he;
Yes,
said the Frenchman, that was made with glee;
We
found the first so pleasing to our mind,
That
to another both were well inclined,
And
thoroughly resolved more fun to seek.
That’s
right, replied the doctor, have your freak;
The
lady howsoe’er I now could name.
The
scholar answered, that to me’s the same;
I
care not what she’s called, Nor who she be:
’Tis
quite enough that we so well agree.
By
this time I’m convinced her loving spouse.
Possesses
what an anchorite might rouse;
And
if a failure any where be met,
At
such a place to-morrow one may get,
What
I shall hope, exactly at the hour,
To
find resigned and fully in my pow’r:
Inbed I shall be instantly received,
And
from anxiety be soon relieved.
The
place of meeting is a room below,
Most
nicely furnished, rich, but void of show.
At
first I through a passage dark was led,
Where
Sol’s bright rays are ne’er allowed to
spread;
But
soon, by my conductress, I was brought,
’Mid
love’s delights, where all with charms was
frought.
Onthis you may suppose the doctor’s pain;
But
presently he thought a point to gain,
And
take the student’s place by wily art,
Where,
acting in disguise the lover’s part,
His
rib he might entangle in a net,
And
vassalage bestow she’d ne’er forget.
Our
learned man was clearly in the wrong;
’Twere
better far to sleep and hold his tongue;
Unless,
with God’s assistance, he could raise
A
remedy that merited full praise.
Whenever
wives have got a candidate,
To
be admitted to the Cuckold’s state,
If
thence he get scot free ’tis luck indeed;
But
once received, and ornaments decreed,
A
blot the more will surely nothing add,
To
one already in the garment clad.
The
doctor otherwise however thought;
Yet
still his reason no advantage brought;
Indeed
he fancied, if he could forestall
The
youth who now he might his master call;
The
trick would to his wisdom credit do,
And
show, superior wiles he could pursue.
Awaythe husband hastened to the place;
In
full belief, that, hiding well his face,
And
favoured by the darkness of the spot,
The
silence marked, and myst’ry of the plot,
He,
undiscovered, safely might be led,
Where
such delicious fruits were ready spread.
Misfortune,
howsoe’er, would so direct
The
aged female nothing to neglect,
Had
with her got a lantern to conduct,
The
light from which at will she could obstruct,
And,
far more cunning than our learned sage,
Perceived
at once with whom she had t’engage;
But,
marking no surprise, she bade him wait,
While
she, his coming, to her dame should state.
Said
she, unless I tell her first you’re here,
I
dare not let you in her room appear.
Besides,
you have not got the right attire;
Undressed,
in truth, is what she would desire.
My
lady, you must know, is gone to bed:—
Then,
thrusting in a dressing room his head,
He
there beheld the necessary fare,
Of
night-cap, slippers, shirt, and combs for hair,
With
Thecircumstances ran throughout the town;
Each
student then was waiting in his gown;
Enough,
no doubt, his fortunes to destroy;
The
laugh went round, and all was jest and joy.
What,
is he mad? said they, or would he seek
Some
lass, and with her wish to have a freak?
Still
worse arrived:—his beauteous spouse complained;
A
trial followed, and distractions reigned;
Her
relatives supported well the cause,
And
represented, that the man of laws,
Occasioned
jars and matrimonial strife;
That
he was mad, and she, a prudent wife,
The
marriage was annulled, and she withdrew:
Retirement
now the lady would pursue,
In
Vavoureuse a prelate blessed the dame,
And,
at Saint Croissant, she a nun became.
ETEXT EDITOR’S BOOKMARKS:
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