Yet it was only gradually that I became quite conscious of all this.  At first, under the safe guidance of my renewed wedded happiness, which had for a time been so disturbed in its early days, I felt distinctly better than I had before in all my professional work.  The fact that the material position of the theatrical undertaking was assured exercised a healthy influence on the performances.  The theatre itself was cooped up in a very narrow space; there was as little room for scenic display on its tiny stage as there was accommodation for rich musical effects in the cramped orchestra.  In both directions the strictest limits were imposed, yet I contrived to introduce considerable reinforcements into an orchestra which was really only calculated for a string quartette, two first and two second violins, two violas, and one ’cello.  These successful exertions of mine were the first cause of the dislike Holtei evinced towards me later on.  After this we were able to get good concerted music for the opera.  I found the thorough study of Mehul’s opera, Joseph in Aegypten, very stimulating.  Its noble and simple style, added to the touching effect of the music, which quite carries one away, did much towards effecting a favourable change in my taste, till then warped by my connection with the theatre.

It was most gratifying to feel my former serious taste again aroused by really good dramatic performances.  I specially remember a production of King Lear, which I followed with the greatest interest, not only at the actual performances, but at all the rehearsals as well.  Yet these educative impressions tended to make me feel ever more and more dissatisfied with my work at the theatre.  On the one hand, the members of the company became gradually more distasteful to me, and on the other I was growing discontented with the management.  With regard to the staff of the theatre, I very soon found out the hollowness, vanity, and the impudent selfishness of this uncultured and undisciplined class of people, for I had now lost my former liking for the Bohemian life that had such an attraction for me at Magdeburg.  Before long there were but a few members of our company with whom I had not quarrelled, thanks to one or the other of these drawbacks.  But my saddest experience was, that in such disputes, into which in fact I was led simply by my zeal for the artistic success of the performances as a whole, not only did I receive no support from Holtei, the director, but I actually made him my enemy.  He even declared publicly that our theatre had become far too respectable for his taste, and tried to convince me that good theatrical performances could not be given by a strait-laced company.