little circle and met regularly.  On Christmas Eve I invited them all to my house, where I had the Christmas tree lighted up, and gave each one an appropriate trifle.  Some work also came my way again, for Tausig asked me to help him with a concert which he was to give in the great Redouten-Saal.  In addition to a few selections from my new operas, I also conducted the Freischutz Overture, for my own particular satisfaction and entirely according to my own interpretation.  Its effect, even upon the orchestra, was truly startling.

But there did not seem the slightest prospect of any official recognition of my abilities; I was, and continued to be, ignored by the great.  Frau von Biasing’s communications revealed by degrees the difficulties which she had encountered in the fulfilment of her promise; but as they were still hopeful in tone, I was able to spend New Year’s Eve at the Standhartner’s in good spirits, and to enjoy a poem specially written by Cornelius for the occasion, which was as humorous as it was solemnly appropriate.

The new year 1864 assumed for me an aspect of gravity which soon became intensified.  I fell ill with a painful and increasing malady due to a chill, which often made demands on Standhartner’s care.  But I was yet more seriously threatened by the turn of Frau von Bissing’s communications.  It seemed she could only raise the promised money with the help of her family, the Slomans, who were shipowners in Hamburg, and from them she was meeting with violent opposition, mingled, as it seemed, with slanderous charges against me.  These circumstances upset me so much that I wished I could renounce all help from this friend, and I began once more to turn my serious attention to Russia.  Fraulein von Rhaden, to whom I again applied, felt she must vigorously dissuade me from any attempt to visit St. Petersburg, in the first place because, owing to the military disturbances in the Polish provinces, I should find the route blocked, and secondly because, roughly speaking, I should attract no notice in the Russian capital.  On the other hand, a visit to Kieff, with a chance of five thousand roubles profit, was represented as undoubtedly feasible.  Keeping my thoughts fixed on this, I arranged with Cornelius, who was to accompany me, a plan for crossing the Black Sea to Odessa, and going from there to Kieff, with a view to which we both resolved to procure the indispensable fur coats at once.  Meanwhile, the only course open to me was to see about raising money by fresh bills at short dates, wherewith to pay all my other bills, which were also short-dated.  Thus I became launched upon a business system which, leading, as it did, to obvious and inevitable ruin, could only be finally resolved by the acceptance of prompt and effectual help.  In these straits I was at last compelled to request a clear declaration from my friend, not as to whether she could help me at once, but whether she really wished to help me at all,