Sparrowgrass, Asparagus

The word sparrowgrass, which is a corruption of the word asparagus, illustrates how readily the uneducated mind associates an unusual term with another that is familiar, and as the mental impression is received through the ear, and lacks that definiteness which the printed form would give, the new idea, when repeated, often assumes a picturesque, if not a ludicrous, form.  Many of Mrs. Partington’s quaint sayings furnish further illustration.

The following incident, from a Western paper, shows the successive stages in the farmer’s mental operations from the familiar terms skin, hide, oxhide, up to the unfamiliar chemical term oxide, through which he was obliged to pass before he succeeded in making known his wants: 
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35

The man was in a brown study when he went into the drug store.

“What can we do for you?” inquired the clerk.

“I want black—­ something of something,” he said; “have you got any?”

“Probably we have,” replied the clerk, “but you’ll have to be more definite than that to get it.”

The farmer thought for a moment.

“Got any black sheepskin of something?” he asked.

“No; we don’t keep sheepskins.  We have chamois-skins, though.”

“That ain’t it, I know,” said the customer.  “Got any other kind of skins?”

“No.”

“Skins—­ skins—­ skins!” slowly repeated the man, struggling with his slippery memory.  “Calfskin seems to be something like it.  Got any black calfskins of anything?”

“No, not one,” and the clerk laughed.

The customer grew red in the face.

“Confound it!” he said, “if it ain’t a skin, what in thunder is it?”

“Possibly it’s a hide?” suggested the clerk.

“That’s it!  That’s it!” exclaimed the man.

“Have you got any black hides of something or anything?”
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36

The clerk shook his head sadly as the man tramped up and down the store.

“Got any black cowhide of anything?” he asked, after a moment’s thought.

The clerk’s face showed a gleam of intelligence, and then broke into a smile.

“Possibly it’s black oxide of manganese you want?” he said, quietly.

“Of course, that’s it!” he exclaimed, as he threw his arms around the clerk’s neck.  “I knowed blamed well there was a skin or hide or something somewhere about the thing,” and he calmed down quietly and waited for what he wanted.

Accord, Give

“They accorded him due praise.”  “They gave him the desired information.”

Act, Action

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”  “Suit the action to the word.”  Action suggests the operation; act, the accomplished result.