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PDFNor evil counsellors to bring
To justice that seduce the King; 770
Nor for the worship of us men,
Though we have done as much for them.
Th’ AEgyptians worshipp’d dogs, and for
Their faith made internecine war.
Others ador’d a rat, and some 775
For that church suffer’d martyrdom.
The
Of th’ elephant and monkey’s tooth,
And many, to defend that faith,
Fought it out mordicus to death. 780
But no beast ever was so slight,
For man, as for his God, to fight.
They have more wit, alas! and know
Themselves and us better than so.
But we, who only do infuse 785
The rage in them like
’Tis our example that instils
In them th’ infection of our ills.
For, as some late philosophers.
Have well observ’d, beasts, that converse 790
With man, take after him, as hogs
Get pigs all the year, and bitches dogs.
Just so, by our example, cattle
Learn to give one another battle.
We read, in NERO’s time, the heathen, 795
When they destroy’d the Christian brethren,
Did sew them in the skins of bears,
And then set dogs about their ears:
From thence, no doubt, th’ invention came
Of this lewd antichristian game. 800
To this, quoth Ralpho, Verily
The point seems very plain to me.
It is an antichristian game,
Unlawful both in thing and name.
First, for the name: the word, bear-baiting
805
Is carnal, and of man’s creating:
For certainly there’s no such word
In all the scripture on record;
Therefore unlawful, and a sin;
And so is (secondly) the thing.
810
A vile assembly ’tis, that can
No more be prov’d by scripture than
Provincial, classic, national;
Mere human-creature cobwebs all.
Thirdly, it is idolatrous;
815
For when men run a whoring thus
With their inventions, whatsoe’er
The thing be, whether dog or bear,
It is idolatrous and pagan,
No less than worshipping of Dagon.
820
Quoth Hudibras, I smell a rat;
Ralpho, thou dost prevaricate:
For though the thesis which thou lay’st
Be true ad amussim, as thou say’st;
(For that bear-baiting should appear
825
Jure divino lawfuller
Than synods are, thou dost deny,
Totidem verbis; so do I;)
Yet there’s a fallacy in this;
For if by sly HOMAEOSIS,
830
Tussis pro crepitu, an art
Under a cough to slur a f—t
Thou wou’dst sophistically imply,
Both are unlawful, I deny.
