Confer some idiot on Conveyancing. 
Whereas the pebble and every part thereof,
And all that appertaineth thereunto,
Quodcunque pertinet ad eam rem,
(I fancy, sir, my Latin’s rather pat)
Or shall, will, may, might, can, could, would or should,
(Subaudi caetera—­clap we to the close —
For what’s the good of law in a case o’ the kind)
Is mine to all intents and purposes. 
This settled, I resume the thread o’ the tale.

   Now for a touch o’ the vendor’s quality. 
He says a gen’lman bought a pebble of him,
(This pebble i’ sooth, sir, which I hold i’ my hand) —
And paid for’t, like a gen’lman, on the nail. 
“Did I o’ercharge him a ha’penny?  Devil a bit. 
Fiddlepin’s end!  Got out, you blazing ass! 
Gabble o’ the goose.  Don’t bugaboo-baby me! 
Go double or quits?  Yah! tittup! what’s the odds?”
   There’s the transaction view’d i’ the vendor’s light.

Next ask that dumpled hag, stood snuffling by,
With her three frowsy blowsy brats o’ babes,
The scum o’ the kennel, cream o’ the filth-heap—­Faugh! 
Aie, aie, aie, aie! ot?t?t?t?toi,
(’Stead which we blurt out Hoighty toighty now) —
And the baker and candlestickmaker, and Jack and Gill,
Blear’d Goody this and queasy Gaffer that. 
Ask the schoolmaster.  Take schoolmaster first.

He saw a gentleman purchase of a lad
A stone, and pay for it rite, on the square,
And carry it off per saltum, jauntily,
Propria quae maribus, gentleman’s property now
(Agreeably to the law explain’d above),
In proprium usum, for his private ends. 
The boy he chuck’d a brown i’ the air, and bit
I’ the face the shilling:  heaved a thumping stone
At a lean hen that ran cluck clucking by,
(And hit her, dead as nail i’ post o’ door,)
Then abiit—­what’s the Ciceronian phrase? —
Excessit, evasit, erupit—­off slogs boy;
Off like bird, avi similis—­(you observed
The dative?  Pretty i’ the Mantuan!)—­Anglice
Off in three flea skips.  Hactenus, so far,
So good, tam bene.  Bene, satis, male -,
Where was I with my trope ’bout one in a quag? 
I did once hitch the syntax into verse: 
Verbum personale, a verb personal,
Concordat—­ay, “agrees,” old Fatchaps—­cum
Nominativo, with its nominative,
Genere, i’ point o’ gender, numero,
O’ number, et persona, and person.  Ut,
Instance:  Sol ruit, down flops sun, et and,
Montes umbrantur, out flounce mountains.  Pah! 
Excuse me, sir, I think I’m going mad. 
You see the trick on’t though, and can yourself
Continue the discourse ad libitum. 
It takes up about eighty thousand lines,
A thing imagination boggles at: 
And might, odds-bobs, sir! in judicious hands,
Extend from here to Mesopotamy.

An examination paper. 
“The posthumous papers of the Pickwick club.” 
Cambridge, 1857.