But all would not do—­Mrs. Jones’ grief was too real; and when I, losing to some extent, my patience, said fretfully, “I wish somebody would invent a shirt without buttons,” she sighed deeply, and in a little while I saw her handkerchief go quietly to her eyes.  Again and again I tried the say-nothing plane; but it worked worse, if any thing, than the other; for Mrs. Jones was sure to find out the truth, and then she would be dreadfully hurt about my omission to speak.

And so the years have passed.  Sometimes I fret a little when I find a shirt button off; sometimes I ask mildly to have the omission supplied when I discover its existence; sometimes I jest about it, and sometimes I bear the evil in silence.  But the effects produced upon Mrs. Jones are about the same.  Her equanimity of mind is disturbed, and she will look unhappy for hours.  Never but once have I complained without a cause.  But that one instance gave Mrs. Jones a triumph which has done much to sustain her in all her subsequent trials.

We had some friends staying with us, and among the various matters of discussion that came up during the social evenings we spent together, shirt buttons were, on one occasion, conspicuous.  To record all that was said about them would fill pages, and I will not, therefore, attempt even a brief record of all the allegations brought against the useful little shirt button.  The final decision was, that it must be the Apple of Discord in disguise.

“A button off, as usual!” I muttered to myself the next morning, as I put on a clean shirt.  Mrs. Jones had risen half an hour before me, and was down stairs giving some directions about breakfast, so that I could not ask to have it sewed on.

And after leaving my room, I thought it as well not to say any thing about it.  In due time we gathered with our friends around the breakfast table.  A sight of them reminded me of the conversation the previous evening, and I felt an irresistible desire to allude to the missing shirt button as quite an apropos and amusing incident.  So, speaking from the impulse of the moment, I said, glancing first at Mrs. Jones, then around the table, and then pointing down at my bosom, “The old story of shirt buttons again!”

Instantly the color mounted to the cheeks and brow of Mrs. Jones; then the color as quickly melted away, and a look of triumph passed over her face.  She pushed back her chair quickly, and rising up, came round to where I sat, took hold of the button I had failed to see, and holding it between her fingers, said, “Oh, yes, this is the old story, Mr. Jones!”

I drew down my chin so as to get a low angle of vision, and sure enough, the button was there.  A burst of laughter went around the table, in which Mrs. Jones most heartily joined; and I laughed, too, as glad as she was, that the joke was all on her side.  I have never, you may be sure, heard the last of this; but it was a lucky incident, for it has given Mrs. Jones something to fall back upon, and have her jest occasionally, whenever I happen to discover that a button is among the missing, and that she can, even at times, find it in her heart to jest on such a subject, is, I can assure you, a great gain.  So much for shirt buttons.  I could say a great deal more, for the subject is inexhaustible.  But I will forbear.