The old, fierce Saints, who went into the darkness exulting in the thought of the eternal damnation of the wicked, had not spelt the first letter of the Christian creed, and I doubt not have discovered their mistake long ago!  Yet there are pious people in the world who will neither think nor speak frankly of the subject, for fear of weakening the motives for human virtue.  I will at least speak frankly, and though I believe with all my heart in a life beyond the grave, in which suffering enough may exist for the cure of those who by wilful sin have sunk into sloth and hopelessness and despair, and even into cruelty and brutality, I do not for an instant believe that the conduct of the vilest human being who ever set foot on the earth can deserve more than a term of punishment, or that such punishment will have anything that is vindictive about it.

It may be said that I am here only combating an old-fashioned idea, and that no one believes in the old theory of eternal punishment, or that if they believe that the possibility exists, they do not believe that any human being can incur it.  But I feel little doubt that the belief does exist, and that it is more widespread than one cares to believe.  To believe it is to yield to the darkest and basest temptation of fear, and keeps all who hold it back from the truth of God.

What then are we to believe about the punishment of our sins?  I look back upon my own life, and I see numberless occasions—­they rise up before me, a long perspective of failures—­when I have acted cruelly, selfishly, self-indulgently, basely, knowing perfectly well that I was so behaving.  What was wrong with me?  Why did I so behave?  Because I preferred the baser course, and thought at the time that it gave me pleasure.

Well then, what do I wish about all that?  I wish it had not happened so, I wish I had been kinder, more just, more self-restrained, more strong.  I am ashamed, because I condemn myself, and because I know that those whom I love and honour would condemn me, if they knew all.  But I do not, therefore, lose all hope of myself, nor do I think that God will not show me how to be different.  If it can only be done by suffering, I dread the suffering, but I am ready to suffer if I can become what I should wish to be.  But I do not for a moment think that God will cast me off or turn His face away from me because I have sinned; and I can pray that He will lead me into light and strength.

And thus it is not my vulnerability that I dread; I rather welcome it as a sign that I may learn the truth so.  And I will not look upon my desire for pleasant things as a proof that I am evil, but rather as a proof that God is showing me where happiness lies, and teaching me by my mistakes to discern and value it.  He could make me perfect if He would, in a single instant.  But the fact that He does not, is a sign that He has something better in store for me than a mere mechanical perfection.