Ah, what a sweat of
anguish in that strife
To hold them fast conjoined
within him still;
Submissive to his will
Along the road of life!
And marvel not he wavered
if at whiles
The forward step met
frowns, the backward smiles.
For Pleasure witched
him her sweet cup to drain;
Repentance offered ecstasy
in pain.
Delicious licence called
it Nature’s cry;
Ascetic rigours crushed
the fleshly sigh;
A tread on shingle timed
his lame advance
Flung as the die of
Bacchanalian Chance,
He of the troubled marching
army leaned
On godhead visible,
on godhead screened;
The radiant roseate,
the curtained white;
Yet sharp his battle
strained through day, through night.
He drank of fictions,
till celestial aid
Might seem accorded
when he fawned and prayed;
Sagely the generous
Giver circumspect,
To choose for grants
the egregious, his elect;
And ever that imagined
succour slew
The soul of brotherhood
whence Reverence drew.
In fellowship religion
has its founts:
The solitary his own
God reveres:
Ascend no sacred Mounts
Our hungers or our fears.
As only for the numbers
Nature’s care
Is shown, and she the
personal nothing heeds,
So to Divinity the spring
of prayer
From brotherhood the
one way upward leads.
Like the sustaining
air
Are both for flowers
and weeds.
But he who claims in
spirit to be flower,
Will find them both
an air that doth devour.
Whereby he smelt his
treason, who implored
External gifts bestowed
but on the sword;
Beheld himself, with
less and less disguise,
Through those blood-cataracts
which dimmed his eyes,
His army’s foe,
condemned to strive and fail;
See a black adversary’s
ghost prevail;
Never, though triumphs
hailed him, hope to win
While still the conflict
tore his breast within.
Out of that agony, misread
for those
Imprisoned Powers warring
unappeased,
The ghost of his black
adversary rose,
To smother light, shut
heaven, show earth diseased.
And long with him was
wrestling ere emerged
A mind to read in him
the reflex shade
Of its fierce torment;
this way, that way urged;
By craven compromises
hourly swayed.
Crouched as a nestling,
still its wings untried,
The man’s mind
opened under weight of cloud.
To penetrate the dark
was it endowed;
Stood day before a vision
shooting wide.
Whereat the spectral
enemy lost form;
The traversed wilderness
exposed its track.
He felt the far advance
in looking back;
Thence trust in his
foot forward through the storm.


