(By this time they have disappeared from view.  Homeware appears; he craftily avoids joining their party, like one who is unworthy of such noble oratory.  He desires privacy and a book, but is disturbed by the arrival of Arden, who is painfully anxious to be polite to ‘her uncle Homeware.’)

SceneII

Homeware, Arden

Arden:  A glorious morning, sir.

Homeware:  The sun is out, sir.

Arden:  I am happy in meeting you, Mr. Homeware.

Homeware:  I can direct you to the ladies, Mr. Arden.  You will find them up yonder avenue.

Arden:  They are listening, I believe, to an oration from the mouth of
Professor Spiral.

Homeware:  On an Alpine flower which has descended to flourish on English soil.  Professor Spiral calls it Nature’s ‘dedicated widow.’

Arden:  ‘Dedicated widow’?

Homeware:  The reference you will observe is to my niece Astraea.

Arden:  She is dedicated to whom?

Homeware:  To her dead husband!  You see the reverse of Astraea, says the professor, in those world-infamous widows who marry again.

Arden:  Bah!

Homeware:  Astraea, it is decided, must remain solitary, virgin cold, like the little Alpine flower.  Professor Spiral has his theme.

Arden:  He will make much of it.  May I venture to say that I prefer my present company?

Homeware:  It is a singular choice.  I can supply you with no weapons for the sort of stride in which young men are usually engaged.  You belong to the camp you are avoiding.

Arden:  Achilles was not the worse warrior, sir, for his probation in petticoats.

Homeware:  His deeds proclaim it.  But Alexander was the better chieftain until he drank with Lais.

Arden:  No, I do not plead guilty to Bacchus.

Homeware:  You are confessing to the madder form of drunkenness.

Arden:  How, sir, I beg?

Homeware:  How, when a young man sees the index to himself in everything spoken!

Arden:  That might have the look.  I did rightly in coming to you, sir.

Homeware:  ‘Her uncle Homeware’?

Arden:  You read through us all, sir.

Homeware:  It may interest you to learn that you are the third of the gentlemen commissioned to consult the lady’s uncle Homeware.

Arden:  The third.

Homeware:  Yes, she is pursued.  It could hardly be otherwise.  Her attractions are acknowledged, and the house is not a convent.  Yet, Mr. Arden, I must remind you that all of you are upon an enterprise held to be profane by the laws of this region.  Can you again forget that Astraea is a widow?