“But I found I couldn’t get off.  So I determined to go ahead, and leave it to chance what I should say.  I got up and told the people I reckoned they know’d what I had come for; but if not, I could tell them.  I had come for their votes, and if they didn’t watch mighty close I’d get them too.  But the worst of all was, that I could not tell them anything about Government.  I tried to speak about something, and I cared very little what, until I choked up as bad as if my mouth had been jamm’d and cramm’d chock-full of dry mush.  There the people stood, listening all the while, with their eyes, mouths, and ears all open to catch every word I could speak.

“At last I told them I was like a fellow I had heard of not long before.  He was beating on the head of an empty barrel on the roadside, when a traveller, who was passing along, asked him what he was doing that for?  The fellow replied that there was some cider in that barrel a few days before, and he was trying to see if there was any then; but if there was, he couldn’t get at it.  I told them that there had been a little bit of a speech in me a while ago, but I believed I couldn’t get it out.

“They all roared out in a mighty laugh, and I told some other anecdotes, equally amusing to them, and believing I had them in a first-rate way, I quit and got down, thanking the people for their attention.  But I took care to remark that I was as dry as a powder-horn, and that I thought that it was time for us all to wet our whistles a little.  And so I put off to a liquor-stand, and was followed by the greater part of the crowd.

“I felt certain this was necessary, for I know’d my competitor could talk Government matters to them as easy as he pleased.  He had, however, mighty few left to hear him, as I continued with the crowd, now and then taking a horn, and telling good-humored stories till he was done speaking.  I found I was good for the votes at the hunt; and when we broke up I went on to the town of Vernon, which was the same they wanted me to move.  Here they pressed me again on the subject.  I found I could get either party by agreeing with them.  But I told them I didn’t know whether it would be right or not, and so couldn’t promise either way.”

This famous barbecue was on Saturday.  The next Monday the county court held its session at Vernon.  There was a great gathering of the pioneers from all parts of the county.  The candidates for the Governor of the State, for a representative in Congress, and for the State Legislature, were all present.  Some of these men were of considerable ability, and certainly of very fluent speech.  The backwoodsmen, from their huts, where there were no books, no newspapers, no intelligent companionship, found this a rich intellectual treat.  Their minds were greatly excited as they listened to the impassioned and glowing utterances of speaker after speaker; for many of these stump orators had command of a rude but very effective eloquence.