(Signor Maffei, PASSIONPALE, in LIONTAMER’S costume with diamond studs in
his SHIRTFRONT, steps forward, holding A circus PAPERHOOP, A curling
carriagewhip and A revolver with which he covers the gorging boarhound.)

Signor Maffei:  (With A sinister smile) Ladies and gentlemen, my educated greyhound.  It was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent spiked saddle for carnivores.  Lash under the belly with a knotted thong.  Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo FEROX there, the Libyan maneater.  A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part produced Fritz of Amsterdam, the thinking hyena. (He glares) I possess the Indian sign.  The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. (With A bewitching smile) I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring.

First watch:  Come.  Name and address.

Bloom:  I have forgotten for the moment.  Ah, yes! (He takes off his high grade hat, saluting) Dr Bloom, Leopold, dental surgeon.  You have heard of von Blum Pasha.  Umpteen millions.  DONNERWETTER!  Owns half Austria.  Egypt.  Cousin.

First watch:  Proof.

(A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom’s hat.)

Bloom:  (In red fez, CADI’S dress coat with broad green sash, wearing A
false badge of the legion of honour, picks up the card hastily and offers
it) Allow me.  My club is the Junior Army and Navy.  Solicitors:  Messrs
John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor’s Walk.

First watch:  (Reads) Henry Flower.  No fixed abode.  Unlawfully watching and besetting.

Second watch:  An alibi.  You are cautioned.

Bloom:  (Produces from his HEARTPOCKET A crumpled yellow flower) This is the flower in question.  It was given me by a man I don’t know his name.  (Plausibly) You know that old joke, rose of Castile.  Bloom.  The change of name.  Virag. (He murmurs privately and confidentially) We are engaged you see, sergeant.  Lady in the case.  Love entanglement. (He shoulders the second watch gently) Dash it all.  It’s a way we gallants have in the navy.  Uniform that does it. (He turns gravely to the first watch) Still, of course, you do get your Waterloo sometimes.  Drop in some evening and have a glass of old Burgundy. (To the second watch gaily) I’ll introduce you, inspector.  She’s game.  Do it in the shake of a lamb’s tail.