Taken all in all, I am very, very depressed.  I am disgusted with the world.

Adieu.  Remember me to all at Altenburg; and if you can, continue to love me. 181

Dearest Richard,

It would have been difficult to make Hartel consent to the change of louis d’or into pounds, and after considering the matter I simply wrote to him that you had left the “Faust” overture to me, and that in your name I accepted the honorarium of twenty louis d’or, asking him at the same time to send you that little sum to London.

We will not let our hair turn grey over the “Tannhauser” affair at Berlin.  I anticipated this all along, although, for my part, I could not and did not wish to bring it about.  I do not grudge your Berlin friends the satisfaction which this issue of the affair will give them, and hope that many other occasions will turn up on which I shall not be superfluous or inconvenient to you.

The day before yesterday I sent the score of the “Rhinegold” (beautifully bound) to W. Fischer at Dresden.

Has B. finished the pianoforte arrangement?  In that case I would ask him to let me have it later on, and at my next visit you will sing and represent the whole to me.

I am hard at work at my Mass, of which the Kyrie and Gloria are already finished.

Apart from this, I have to conduct many rehearsals.

Schumann’s “Genoveva” will be performed on April 9th, and will give me another opportunity of studying and conducting an opera, which I have not done for the last four months.

Next Sunday (April 1st) the oratorio “Die Verklarung des Herrn”, by Kuhnsted, professor at Eisenach and organist of Wartburg in spe, will be given at the theatre; and on April 2Oth Raff is going to give a concert, at which half a dozen of his larger compositions—­amongst others, an orchestral suite, the hundred and twenty-first Psalm, a violin concerto, etc.—­will make up the entire programme.

This is the musical news of Weymar, which probably will be of less interest to you than to me.  Of my life, my hope, my endurance, I have nothing to say that is cheerful....

Whether the great political event, the death of the Emperor, will have a softening influence on my personal fate, remains questionable.  In a few weeks I shall have direct news.  Whatever it may turn out to be, I cannot waver or hesitate.  To you, dearest Richard, remains cordially and invariably attached

Your F.

I am constantly being asked for introductions to you.  Generally I refuse them, but in a few cases I have to yield.

Tell Klindworth he is to write to me about your Philharmonic concerts.  His cousin, a very amiable lady, will shortly bring you news of Weymar, where she has been staying several months.

182.  Dear, great man,