Juno.  I’m prepared to promise never to do so.  I think your husband has a right to demand that.  Then if I speak to you after, it will not be his fault.  It will be a breach of my promise; and I shall not attempt to defend my conduct.

Gregory [facing him] I shall talk to your wife as often as she’ll let me.

Mrs. Juno.  I have no objection to your speaking to me, Mr. Lunn.

Juno.  Then I shall take steps.

Gregory.  What steps?

Juno.  Steps.  Measures.  Proceedings.  What steps as may seem advisable.

Mrs. Lunn [to Mrs. Juno] Can your husband afford a scandal, Mrs.
Juno?

Mrs. Juno.  No.

Mrs. Lunn.  Neither can mine.

Gregory.  Mrs. Juno:  I’m very sorry I let you in for all this.  I don’t know how it is that we contrive to make feelings like ours, which seems to me to be beautiful and sacred feelings, and which lead to such interesting and exciting adventures, end in vulgar squabbles and degrading scenes.

Juno.  I decline to admit that my conduct has been vulgar or degrading.

Gregory.  I promised—­

Juno.  Look here, old chap:  I don’t say a word against your mother; and I’m sorry she’s dead; but really, you know, most women are mothers; and they all die some time or other; yet that doesn’t make them infallible authorities on morals, does it?

Gregory.  I was about to say so myself.  Let me add that if you do things merely because you think some other fool expects you to do them, and he expects you to do them because he thinks you expect him to expect you to do them, it will end in everybody doing what nobody wants to do, which is in my opinion a silly state of things.

Juno.  Lunn:  I love your wife; and that’s all about it.

Gregory.  Juno:  I love yours.  What then?

Juno.  Clearly she must never see you again.

Mrs. Juno.  Why not?

Juno.  Why not!  My love:  I’m surprised at you.

Mrs. Juno.  Am I to speak only to men who dislike me?

Juno.  Yes:  I think that is, properly speaking, a married woman’s duty.

Mrs. Juno.  Then I won’t do it:  that’s flat.  I like to be liked.  I like to be loved.  I want everyone round me to love me.  I don’t want to meet or speak to anyone who doesn’t like me.

Juno.  But, my precious, this is the most horrible immorality.

Mrs. Lunn.  I don’t intend to give up meeting you, Mr. Juno.  You amuse me very much.  I don’t like being loved:  it bores me.  But I do like to be amused.

Juno.  I hope we shall meet very often.  But I hope also we shall not defend our conduct.

Mrs. Juno [rising] This is unendurable.  We’ve all been flirting.  Need we go on footling about it?