Juno.  Pardon me.  I may be doing wrong; but I’m doing it in a proper and customary manner.  You may be doing right; but you’re doing it in an unusual and questionable manner.  I am not prepared to put up with that.  I can stand being badly treated:  I’m no baby, and can take care of myself with anybody.  And of course I can stand being well treated.  But the thing I can’t stand is being unexpectedly treated, It’s outside my scheme of life.  So come now! you’ve got to behave naturally and straightforwardly with me.  You can leave husband and child, home, friends, and country, for my sake, and come with me to some southern isle—­or say South America—­where we can be all in all to one another.  Or you can tell your husband and let him jolly well punch my head if he can.  But I’m damned if I’m going to stand any eccentricity.  It’s not respectable.

Gregory [coming in from the terrace and advancing with dignity to his wife’s end of the chesterfield].  Will you have the goodness, sir, in addressing this lady, to keep your temper and refrain from using profane language?

Mrs. Lunn [rising, delighted] Gregory!  Darling [she enfolds him in a copious embrace]!

Juno [rising] You make love to another man to my face!

Mrs. Lunn.  Why, he’s my husband.

Juno.  That takes away the last rag of excuse for such conduct.  A nice world it would be if married people were to carry on their endearments before everybody!

Gregory.  This is ridiculous.  What the devil business is it of yours what passes between my wife and myself?  You’re not her husband, are you?

Juno.  Not at present; but I’m on the list.  I’m her prospective husband:  you’re only her actual one.  I’m the anticipation:  you’re the disappointment.

Mrs. Lunn.  Oh, my Gregory is not a disappointment. [Fondly] Are you, dear?

Gregory.  You just wait, my pet.  I’ll settle this chap for you. [He disengages himself from her embrace, and faces Juno.  She sits down placidly].  You call me a disappointment, do you?  Well, I suppose every husband’s a disappointment.  What about yourself?  Don’t try to look like an unmarried man.  I happen to know the lady you disappointed.  I travelled in the same ship with her; and—­

Juno.  And you fell in love with her.

Gregory [taken aback] Who told you that?

Juno.  Aha! you confess it.  Well, if you want to know, nobody told me.  Everybody falls in love with my wife.

Gregory.  And do you fall in love with everybody’s wife?

Juno.  Certainly not.  Only with yours.

Mrs. Lunn.  But what’s the good of saying that, Mr. Juno?  I’m married to him; and there’s an end of it.

Juno.  Not at all.  You can get a divorce.