I took her outstretched hand, and wonder overwhelmed me.  “I wanted to kill you,” I said simply, trying to grasp that idea.  It seemed now like stabbing the stars, or murdering the sunlight.

“Afterward we looked for you,” said Verrall; “and we could not find you. . . .  We heard another shot.”

I turned my eyes to him, and Nettie’s hand fell from me.  It was then I thought of how they had fallen together, and what it must have been to have awakened in that dawn with Nettie by one’s side.  I had a vision of them as I had glimpsed them last amidst the thickening vapors, close together, hand in hand.  The green hawks of the Change spread their darkling wings above their last stumbling paces.  So they fell.  And awoke—­lovers together in a morning of Paradise.  Who can tell how bright the sunshine was to them, how fair the flowers, how sweet the singing of the birds? . . .

This was the thought of my heart.  But my lips were saying, “When I awoke I threw my pistol away.”  Sheer blankness kept my thoughts silent for a little while; I said empty things.  “I am very glad I did not kill you—­that you are here, so fair and well. . . .”

“I am going away back to Clayton on the day after to-morrow,” I said, breaking away to explanations.  “I have been writing shorthand here for Melmount, but that is almost over now. . . .”

Neither of them said a word, and though all facts had suddenly ceased to matter anything, I went on informatively, “He is to be taken to Downing Street where there is a proper staff, so that there will be no need of me. . . .  Of course, you’re a little perplexed at my being with Melmount.  You see I met him—­by accident—­directly I recovered.  I found him with a broken ankle—­in that lane. . . .  I am to go now to the Four Towns to help prepare a report.  So that I am glad to see you both again”—­I found a catch in my voice—­“to say good-bye to you, and wish you well.”

This was after the quality of what had come into my mind when first I saw them through the grocer’s window, but it was not what I felt and thought as I said it.  I went on saying it because otherwise there would have been a gap.  It had come to me that it was going to be hard to part from Nettie.  My words sounded with an effect of unreality.  I stopped, and we stood for a moment in silence looking at one another.

It was I, I think, who was discovering most.  I was realizing for the first time how little the Change had altered in my essential nature.  I had forgotten this business of love for a time in a world of wonder.  That was all.  Nothing was lost from my nature, nothing had gone, only the power of thought and restraint had been wonderfully increased and new interests had been forced upon me.  The Green Vapors had passed, our minds were swept and garnished, but we were ourselves still, though living in a new and finer air.  My affinities were unchanged; Nettie’s personal charm for me was only quickened by the enhancement of my perceptions.  In her presence, meeting her eyes, instantly my desire, no longer frantic but sane, was awake again.