‘To move wild laughter in the throat of death’

as to excite any healthy stir among the bulk of this staid company.

The studious congregate about the doors of the different classes, debating the matter of the lecture, or comparing note-books.  A reserved rivalry sunders them.  Here are some deep in Greek particles:  there, others are already inhabitants of that land

’Where entity and quiddity,
’Like ghosts of defunct bodies fly —
Where Truth in person does appear
Like words congealed in northern air.’

But none of them seem to find any relish for their studies—­no pedantic love of this subject or that lights up their eyes—­science and learning are only means for a livelihood, which they have considerately embraced and which they solemnly pursue.  ’Labour’s pale priests,’ their lips seem incapable of laughter, except in the way of polite recognition of professorial wit.  The stains of ink are chronic on their meagre fingers.  They walk like Saul among the asses.

The dandies are not less subdued.  In 1824 there was a noisy dapper dandyism abroad.  Vulgar, as we should now think, but yet genial—­a matter of white greatcoats and loud voices—­strangely different from the stately frippery that is rife at present.  These men are out of their element in the quadrangle.  Even the small remains of boisterous humour, which still clings to any collection of young men, jars painfully on their morbid sensibilities; and they beat a hasty retreat to resume their perfunctory march along Princes Street.  Flirtation is to them a great social duty, a painful obligation, which they perform on every occasion in the same chill official manner, and with the same commonplace advances, the same dogged observance of traditional behaviour.  The shape of their raiment is a burden almost greater than they can bear, and they halt in their walk to preserve the due adjustment of their trouser-knees, till one would fancy he had mixed in a procession of Jacobs.  We speak, of course, for ourselves; but we would as soon associate with a herd of sprightly apes as with these gloomy modern beaux.  Alas, that our Mirabels, our Valentines, even our Brummels, should have left their mantles upon nothing more amusing!

Nor are the fast men less constrained.  Solemnity, even in dissipation, is the order of the day; and they go to the devil with a perverse seriousness, a systematic rationalism of wickedness that would have surprised the simpler sinners of old.  Some of these men whom we see gravely conversing on the steps have but a slender acquaintance with each other.  Their intercourse consists principally of mutual bulletins of depravity; and, week after week, as they meet they reckon up their items of transgression, and give an abstract of their downward progress for approval and encouragement.  These folk form a freemasonry of their own.  An oath is the shibboleth of their sinister fellowship.  Once they hear a man swear, it is wonderful how their tongues loosen and their bashful spirits take enlargement, under the consciousness of brotherhood.  There is no folly, no pardoning warmth of temper about them; they are as steady-going and systematic in their own way as the studious in theirs.