he did not venture to speak in order not to betray the unsteadiness of his voice.  He remembered the bitterness of his life at school, the humiliation which he had endured, the banter which had made him morbidly afraid of making himself ridiculous; and he remembered the loneliness he had felt since, faced with the world, the disillusion and the disappointment caused by the difference between what it promised to his active imagination and what it gave.  But notwithstanding he was able to look at himself from the outside and smile with amusement.

“By Jove, if I weren’t flippant, I should hang myself,” he thought cheerfully.

His mind went back to the answer he had given his uncle when he asked him what he had learnt in Paris.  He had learnt a good deal more than he told him.  A conversation with Cronshaw had stuck in his memory, and one phrase he had used, a commonplace one enough, had set his brain working.

“My dear fellow,” Cronshaw said, “there’s no such thing as abstract morality.”

When Philip ceased to believe in Christianity he felt that a great weight was taken from his shoulders; casting off the responsibility which weighed down every action, when every action was infinitely important for the welfare of his immortal soul, he experienced a vivid sense of liberty.  But he knew now that this was an illusion.  When he put away the religion in which he had been brought up, he had kept unimpaired the morality which was part and parcel of it.  He made up his mind therefore to think things out for himself.  He determined to be swayed by no prejudices.  He swept away the virtues and the vices, the established laws of good and evil, with the idea of finding out the rules of life for himself.  He did not know whether rules were necessary at all.  That was one of the things he wanted to discover.  Clearly much that seemed valid seemed so only because he had been taught it from his earliest youth.  He had read a number of books, but they did not help him much, for they were based on the morality of Christianity; and even the writers who emphasised the fact that they did not believe in it were never satisfied till they had framed a system of ethics in accordance with that of the Sermon on the Mount.  It seemed hardly worth while to read a long volume in order to learn that you ought to behave exactly like everybody else.  Philip wanted to find out how he ought to behave, and he thought he could prevent himself from being influenced by the opinions that surrounded him.  But meanwhile he had to go on living, and, until he formed a theory of conduct, he made himself a provisional rule.

“Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.”