Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749.

Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749.
not obliged to you.  He goes to Wards, and not towards, such a place.  He sometimes affects hard words, by way of ornament, which he always mangles like a learned woman.  A man of fashion never has recourse to proverbs and vulgar aphorisms; uses neither favorite words nor hard words; but takes great care to speak very correctly and grammatically, and to pronounce properly; that is, according to the usage of the best companies.

An awkward address, ungraceful attitudes and actions, and a certain left-handedness (if I may use that word), loudly proclaim low education and low company; for it is impossible to suppose that a man can have frequented good company, without having catched something, at least, of their air and motions.  A new raised man is distinguished in a regiment by his awkwardness; but he must be impenetrably dull, if, in a month or two’s time, he cannot perform at least the common manual exercise, and look like a soldier.  The very accoutrements of a man of fashion are grievous encumbrances to a vulgar man.  He is at a loss what to do with his hat, when it is not upon his head; his cane (if unfortunately he wears one) is at perpetual war with every cup of tea or coffee he drinks; destroys them first, and then accompanies them in their fall.  His sword is formidable only to his own legs, which would possibly carry him fast enough out of the way of any sword but his own.  His clothes fit him so ill, and constrain him so much, that he seems rather, their prisoner than their proprietor.  He presents himself in company like a criminal in a court of justice; his very air condemns him; and people of fashion will no more connect themselves with the one, than people of character will with the other.  This repulse drives and sinks him into low company; a gulf from whence no man, after a certain age, ever emerged.

’Les manieres nobles et aisees, la tournure d’un homme de condition, le ton de la bonne compagnie, les graces, le jeune sais quoi, qui plait’, are as necessary to adorn and introduce your intrinsic merit and knowledge, as the polish is to the diamond; which, without that polish, would never be worn, whatever it might weigh.  Do not imagine that these accomplishments are only useful with women; they are much more so with men.  In a public assembly, what an advantage has a graceful speaker, with genteel motions, a handsome figure, and a liberal air, over one who shall speak full as much good sense, but destitute of these ornaments?  In business, how prevalent are the graces, how detrimental is the want of them?  By the help of these I have known some men refuse favors less offensively than others granted them.  The utility of them in courts and negotiations is inconceivable.  You gain the hearts, and consequently the secrets, of nine in ten, that you have to do with, in spite even of their prudence; which will, nine times in ten, be the dupe of their hearts and of their senses.  Consider the importance of these things as they deserve, and you will not lose one minute in the pursuit of them.

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Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.